A strange story.

I was making a omelette. Whisking the eggs together, I noticed my phone had a missed call. Why? I called back.
"Hey, did you call?"
"Yeah I did."
"Why'd you call?"
"I needed to know where I could a buy a jigsaw puzzle."
"A what?"
"A jigsaw puzzle."
"A jigsaw puzzle."
"Yeah, I needed to buy a jigsaw puzzle."
"Why'd you call me then?"
"You seemed like the kind of guy who would know where to get a jigsaw puzzle."
"Oh. Well...I really can't think of any places where you could get a jigsaw puzzle."
"That's alright, I already got one."
"Oh. Alright, see ya."
"Yeah, see ya."

You seemed like the kind of guy who would know where to get a jigsaw puzzle. Murakami got lifed.

lol. Knifed. Leads to loss of life. lol.

I'm being lame! Goddamn it. Nyeh, fuck this, i'm going to eat icecream and watch movie. Let's do that.

On the upside, I am getting latent mutant powers through the constant radiation. Not that I don't have to supplement my awesome ga^H^H^Hmutant powers.

Such violent sneezing!

And unexpected too.

Mid-sem. Shit.

Why am I doing this? Seriously, why am i even contemplating the idea of doing a course which I cannot do, at all? I am pretty crappy at metrics. Why? Why didn't I do a fishwrap course?

The latter question is rhetorical.

So divided.

Want this dog?
No.

Fucking sharks.

Marriage is a union between one man and one woman, and no shark should come between them with its powerful jaws and massive dorsal fin.

Also of note. And by note, I mean better. The entire fucking site rocks. Please spend oodles of hours there and click on all the ads. Hell, they even have CNN as a legitimate news source as one of them.

There. I sold out. Are you happy now?

Hah. People.

But I suppose a goth chick at KFC would be just as funny.
"Is your crispy chicken as crisp as dead leaves swaying from the gallows of skeletal wooden claws hewn from their withered arms by jagged-fanged steel?" "Nah, but it's pretty damn crunchy." "I accept."

It's like that fog bank in that badly written movie. It runs against the wind. It resolves nothing, and in the end, you've probably wasted a lot of good peoples time.

Do you know who's cool? Larry Niven is cool that's what. Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex.

No matter how much you do you never do enough.

True.

Really, I have nothing newsworthy to blog here. Being the fine upstanding blogger journalist I am, I really should bring you news. Or, you know, not. Cause i'm like that.

No, why i'm really here is to sell you knives. Or utility stepladders! cause apparently, those mofos can go anywhere.

I've stayed up now for approxmiately 34 hours now. That ain't the deal. The deal is, I'm not even tired. Sure, i'm sore in a few places, and if I went to sleep, I would actually sleep, but this is ridiculous. I normally expect to be really worn out by now and accidentally nodding off, but i'm really freaking lucid. It's utterly bizarre. It lends credence to the 'I've had a stroke' theory. Seriously, only brain injury could account for something like this. I haven't had any coffee since about 12 hours ago, it should have long worn off by now. Is it part of the zanyness, or maybe it's the obviously untapped, yet proven health benefits of FT being played obssessively fo several hours a day.

That must be it!

Ah, there's the brain injury talking. Though, it is hard to conclude whether this is previous or current brain injury. Meh, it's all...delicious.

Now, my keyboard is retarded. It won't let me capitalise. On the investments! Or punctuate. I would only sound retarded, and that would be an uncommon and scary side of me noone ever sees.

You're dead to me can-opener!

Well he is.

Maybe he shouldn't have squealed to the cops!

I am Jack's cold sweat. I am Jill's nipple.

Answer: what two things don't go together?

I hope the crazyness will end soon. And apparently, I have the ability to feel guilt! I feel kinda bad for not going and seeing people. But I spent it with other people. Freud would be proud.

And back to the guilt...