Quotes!

I got lost on the road of life.

What's the point of having a home if you don't have a homeless person to drive past to get there?.

The greatest love affair I've ever had was with myself.

What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!

I only know two pieces. One is 'Claire de lune', and the other isn't.

I can't listen to too much Wagner. It makes want to invade Poland.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.

It is the duty of the old to worry on the behalf of the young. It is the duty of the young to scorn the anxiety of the old.

Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.

The birds hung in the air the way bricks don't.

Whenever you feel like crying or running away, sing.

A diplomat is a person who can tell you you're going to hell in such a way that you're looking forward to it.

You must lose a fly to catch a trout.

You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.

When in doubt, lie. When not in doubt, lie anyway. You get a better price.

It's OK to sell out. At the right price.

Hope, like the gleaming taper's light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Assume a virtue, if you have it not.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

I have several castles in the air. Would you like to join me?

I saw a couple of cute girls, so I had to dance for them.

Ignorance is bliss.

All perception of truth is the detection of an analogy.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

Pain is just your body's way of saying something is wrong.

I've never been fond of overly political music or overly musical politicians.

Nothing encourages sin as so much as mercy.

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

Seek not happiness too greedily, and be not fearful of happiness.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.

If hope is all a man has, do not take it from him.

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

Death solves all problems - No man, no problem.

He who has never hoped can never despair.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Man can never use sex to get what they want. Sex is what they want.

A witty saying proves nothing.