I probably have lost something.

Was not a very good day, certain people are getting really really annoying. Ok, maybe not that annoying, but ANNOYING nevertheless.

So in order, you can have this:

Once upon a time and a very good time there lived three little pigs. These pigs were no ordinary pigs; no, they were veterans of the Vietnam War. They were bitter and resentful about the fact that half the people in the world didn't even know where Vietnam was. For you see, in this world, Vietnam was on another planet, and the pigs were fighting an alien race, bent on the enslavement of this worlds baby animals. It was just a happy coincidence that the world of the alien race was called Vietnam.

Nowadays, these pigs lived out in the open country, where they could be free and happy and wallow in their own filth, if they so wished to do so. One of the piggies was lying in a hammock and reading one of his favourite novels, Cervantes by Don Quixote. The novel went a bit like this:

A long time ago, in faraway Romania, there once lived a man called Cervantes. There has been some dispute over that name; some people claim it to be Cervanto, while others claim it to be Cervantoeosa; but for the sake of pronounciation, we shall call him by his popular name, Cervantes.

Cervantes was by no means a interesting character, so therefore we shall move on to his lovely and beautous wife. His wife was a beautiful woman, who had some very odd interests; she adored tulips and was absolutely smitten by cats. She kept many cats around her, but was unable to procure tulips, as the harsh Romanian climate prevented her from doing so.

One day, Cervantes was coming back from a long day in the tofu fields, only to find himself being cuckolded by no less than the buxom and blonde milkmaid.

'Alas!' He cried. 'Alack! Apain and awoe!' He moaned. He chased out the two scantily clad women onto the street, much to the cheering and delight of onlookers.

'Cuckolded!' Cervantes raged. 'By no less then the buxom and blonde milkmaid!'. He yelled and screamed and broke things till his voice was hoarse, and he had run out of things to break. He mumbled bitterly to himself and sat down to ponder his unfortunate fate.

At this point, the pig was tired, and so promptly went off to sleep.

Meanwhile, another piggie was sitting in his room, cleaning and polishing his large collection of fully loaded, fully functional sniper rifles. He was cleaning the barrel of one his favourite ones right now: The Sig Sauer SG 550. This semi-auto, gas operated baby fired .223 bullets and had a 650mm barrel. The piggie was sitting and cleaning his rifle, when his sensors picked something up. It was that damn bitch Cinderella again, selling her infernal Girl Scout cookies. He only liked the Thin Mints; oh sure, he had the occansional box of the Lemon Pastry Crèmes, but those were low-fat. She kept pestering him to buy her rotten cookies, but now she had gone too far. The piggie resolved to solve this once and for all: he picked up his Swedish-made PSG-90 and picked up the bi-pod. This little piggie was really not feeling too well; he decided to use the sabot case. The sabot case is a 4.81mm tungsten carbide round fired in a sabot case. This round exits the barrel at over 4400 fps (feet per second). He didn't care about the degradation of accuracy, he just wanted her dead.

He set up the bi-pod, set her in the Hendsolt 10x42mm sights and pulled the trigger...

Part 2 coming later. Because i'm lazy.

Nice? Shite? Average? Why? Send your opinions and questions to: ME.

This is what happens when you leave things alone. Have fun all. Night.