I can't believe this. I actually got what I wanted for Christmas.

Well, atleast partially. But hell, I still can't believe it. I guess there are such things as Christmas miracles. Who would have known...

I've decided to be all talkative and chatty, well, cause I can. Things have happened which I really didn't expect it to, so it's been good.

I'm leaving today on Christmas around 10 for my little foray into America, and considering that I'm going to be spending crazy amounts of time in a car, I prudently decided not to sleep. Yes, I chose to. Oh shut up.

Anyway, for the next week or so, i'll be gone. I'm going to be visiting NYC, Washington D.C., Baltimore, hopefully Boston, and am probably going to go to Ottawa and Canada.

Christmas has been the rampant consumerist thing it always is over here, and despite my pleading not to get me anything, my relatives get me something. How annoying. I got lots of new clothes (Shut up, I like those clothes, and I chose some of them), money, a gift card and a little remote control car. And Books. Don't forget that.

For some reason, this family (and by the way, I mean my relatives in general) seem to have an almost unusual affair with Christmas. They insist on wrapping presents, and they bought a lot. I mean, A LOT. The best estimate was approxiamately 60 or so presents under the tree. and that doesn't include other presents that were opened early, that hadn't been wrapped, etc, etc. My aunt is a doctor, and a highly popular one to boot (she has something like a 15-month waiting list), so she makes a lot of money, meaning lots of buying. Somewhat insane, I think.

I have new reason to be optimistic, I've getting drunk off Sea Change, I got everything need and some of what I want, so what's not to like?

The fact that the only thing that ever seems to jolt me out of stupors and reveries is another persons pain. There's nothing quite like perspective and sadness to throw you into action.

Absolutely revolting that it has to be that way, doesn't it?

My brother got a mp3 player, i'm not sure how to feel about it, resentful or jealous? which suits me better? i'd say jealousy, i've always been the jealous type, green suits me better, I think.

Going to try and remain terribly optimistic for the rest of the year, which is around 6 days, but for me, that's gonna be a new record.

My mind fucking hates me, and forces me to remember things that I really don't want to, and I'm absolutely powerless to stop it. I'm going to show that brain who's boss.

Either way, considering it's actually proper Christmas here now, I'll wish everyone a Happy Christmas. God I hope everything and everyone work out.

I have but one wish for next year: to see my friends and me get through it intact. That's what I really want.

Anyway, enough of this needless rambling, hugs for everyone, I love you all too much to say in words or express actions, so why should I bother doing anything?

Just something I've been thinking about.

All shall be revealed next year, all my travels, all my thoughts, whether you want it or not.

Oh I'll ride
Farther than I should
Harder than I could
Just to meet you there.

Au revoir, gentle souls. I wish you nothing but the utmost joy and prosperity in whatever you pursue.

Au revoir.