Two links today

Instead of just one, cause I can.

Or that I read a really good article :P

I'll have to copy paste one here probably, as it's from the NYT, which seems to have that characteristic of producing a gem out of a LOT of TRASH, and also that characteristic of being stupidly overanalytical over little things (they did a 10,000 word article on what could be best summarised as this: Bush, Cheney, Rice and Rumsfeld were announcing to the American public that aluminium tubes were slam-dunk evidence of Iraq's nuclear ambitions, they already knew that there was completely overwhelming evidence that the tubes were just for artillery rockets [as Iraq said] and that the tubes were totally unsuitable for use in centrifuges. {Taken from Slashdot...there's over 2300 comments on this article! Plastic got nothing on these bitches. Daim.} Wtf?)

And that whole registration thing, which is getting more and more recalcitrant. Grrr. rr.

First piecetoday is a lovely little piece about the whole consumerism culture thing, but more in relation to the university arena. Good analytical piece, well written. It's odd how i'm identifying with the people mentioned :P

Second piece leads me to think that I've going to become one of these guys and end up working for some big giant creepy organisation like the IMF or The World Bank. This one is about how you should democratise first, then develop the economy, contrary to the popular opinion that you should do it the other way around. Relies a LOT on empirical evidence. It's pretty much all empirical. Something I find a little shifty, but well researched, thorough they are. I've posted it below to read if wished, beware though, mother of an article. I haven't really gone through it very thoroughly, read most of it, seems good. Sorry if I missed a gaping hole, it's late at night. Well, not really, but I like to think it is.

*sigh* Something I haven't done for a while. Loving my music and my ipod, but I wish I loved other things too. Seems too selective. Heh, go the angst. Sorry for the poorly written post, doing something like this should make me get angry more often. Tired, and i'm missing words.

In a little while,
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah, it's gone

and one last thing to keep you distracted, Capital punishment!

DISPELLING A MYTH

"Economic development makes democracy possible" asserts the U.S. State Department's Web site, subscribing to a highly influential argument: that poor countries must develop economically before they can democratize. But the historical data prove otherwise. Poor democracies have grown at least as fast as poor autocracies and have significantly outperformed the latter on most indicators of social well-being. They have also done much better at avoiding catastrophes. Dispelling the "development first, democracy later" argument is critical not only because it is wrong but also because it has led to atrocious policies-indeed, policies that have undermined international efforts to improve the lives of hundreds of millions of people in the developing world.

Those who believe that democracy can take hold only once a state has developed economically preach a go-slow approach to promoting democracy. But we and others who believe that countries often remain poor precisely because they retain autocratic political structures believe that a development-first strategy perpetuates a deadly cycle of poverty, conflict, and oppression.

Why has the development-first myth prevailed? First, it rests on a common-sense notion, put forward by political sociologist Seymour Martin Lipset and others some 45 years ago, that economic growth creates the necessary preconditions for democracy by expanding literacy, creating a secure middle class, and nurturing cosmopolitan attitudes. Second, it fits comfortably with the demands of the era of its origin, the Cold War, when about a third of countries qualified as democracies and very few of them were poor. Governance patterns appeared stuck, with countries trapped in opposing magnetic fields created by the Soviet bloc and the West. Pinning hopes for progress in the developing world on seemingly exceptional democratic examples such as India, Costa Rica, and Colombia appeared unrealistic under such conditions. Besides, the West was happy to bolster authoritarian governments that were not controlled by the Soviet Union to prevent them from turning communist.

The development-first thesis-which subscribes to the notion of an authoritarian advantage-has persisted in the post-Cold War world, despite the abysmal economic records of Latin American military governments, the "strongman" rulers in Africa, and the communist states in Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union. This is largely because of the dazzling economic performance of certain eastern Asian autocracies: Singapore, Indonesia, South Korea, Taiwan, and, lately, China. Based on these countries' experiences, a variant of the development-first thesis has gained particularly wide appeal: strong, technocratic governance, insulated from the chaos of democratic politics, is the best way to pursue efficient and farsighted macroeconomic policies. According to this view, the experience of Russia in the 1990s and the faltering performance of young democracies in eastern Europe, Latin America, and Africa demonstrate the folly of attempting democracy too soon.

STRONGER, NICER, CALMER

As compelling as the development-first thesis sounds, the empirical evidence is clear: democracies consistently outperform autocracies in the developing world. But before proceeding, it is important to establish what we mean by democracy. Democracies are political systems characterized by popular participation, genuine competition for executive office, and institutional checks on power. We put this definition into practice using the Polity IV democracy index, devised by Ted Robert Gurr of the University of Maryland in 1990. The annual index gives each country a score between 0 (least democratic) and 10 (most democratic) based on the extent to which it exhibits the democratic characteristics listed above. To compare distinctive governance types, we categorize countries that score between 8 and 10 on this scale as democracies and those that score between 0 and 2 as autocracies.

Because everyone agrees that the most prosperous states in the world are well-established democracies, and because the real debate is over whether low-income democracies are capable of growing at a rate comparable to that of low-income authoritarian governments, this discussion is limited to countries with GDP per capita of under $2,000 (in constant 1995 dollar terms). We thus compare two groups of countries: low-income democracies and low-income autocracies.

The data, compiled from the World Bank's World Development Indicators from 1960 to the present, reveal a simple truth: low-income democracies have, on average, grown just as rapidly as low-income autocracies over the past 40 years. Outside of eastern Asia (about which more will be said later), the median per capita growth rates of poor democracies have been 50 percent higher than those of autocracies. Countries that have chosen the democratic path-such as the Dominican Republic, India, Latvia, Mozambique, Nicaragua, and Senegal-have typically outpaced their autocratic counterparts, such as Angola, the Republic of Congo, Syria, Uzbekistan, and Zimbabwe. Moreover, because 25 percent of the worst-performing authoritarian regimes, including Cuba, North Korea, and Somalia, have failed to document their performance, the growth shortfall for autocracies is even larger than the available data indicate.

The advantage poor democracies have over poor autocracies becomes even more apparent when the debate moves from growth rates to broader measures of well-being. Development can also be measured by social indicators such as life expectancy, access to clean drinking water, literacy rates, agricultural yields, and the quality of public-health services. On nearly all of these quality-of-life measures, low-income democracies dramatically outdo their autocratic counterparts.

People in low-income democracies live, on average, nine years longer than their counterparts in low-income autocracies, have a 40 percent greater chance of attending secondary school, and benefit from agricultural yields that are 25 percent higher. The latter figure is particularly relevant because some 70 percent of the people in poor countries live in the countryside. Higher levels of agricultural productivity mean more employment, capital, and food. Poor democracies also suffer 20 percent fewer infant deaths than poor autocracies. Development practitioners should pay particularly close attention to these figures because infant-mortality rates capture many features of social well-being, such as prenatal health care for women, nutrition, quality of drinking water, and girls' education.

Careful review of the data suggests that low-income democracies have another powerful advantage: they are better at avoiding calamities. Since 1960, poor autocracies have experienced severe economic contractions (falls of 10 percent or more in annual GDP) twice as often as poor democracies. Seventy percent of autocracies have experienced at least one such episode since 1980, whereas only 5 of the 80 worst examples of economic contraction over the last 40 years have occurred in democracies.

Viewed through this prism, many of the periods of rapid growth enjoyed by poor autocracies, which are frequently cited by development-first advocates, were little more than spurts to make up for ground lost during hard times. Consider Chile. Although often touted as a model of autocratic growth for its 13 years of economic expansion during Augusto Pinochet's 17-year rule, Chile also suffered two acute economic crises during this time: a 12 percent decline in GDP per capita in the mid-1970s and a 17 percent contraction in the early 1980s. It took until the mid-1980s for Chile to sustain a per capita income level higher than that of 1973, the year Pinochet seized power.

The frequent criticism that democracies pander to populist-driven interests to the overall detriment of the economy is demonstrably false. Poor democracies have, on average, not run higher deficits over the past 30 years than poor autocracies. Similarly, both poor democracies and poor autocracies spend almost the same on education and health. Democracies have just used their resources more effectively. Not coincidentally, low-income democracies typically score between 15 to 25 percent stronger on indices of corruption and rule of law than do autocracies.

Democracies also do a better job of avoiding humanitarian emergencies: the 87 largest refugee crises over the past 20 years originated in autocracies, and 80 percent of all internally displaced persons in 2003 were living under authoritarian regimes, even though such systems represented only a third of all states. The Nobel laureate and political economist Amartya Sen once famously observed that no democracy with a free press has ever experienced a major famine.

Some hold that "premature" democratization in low-income countries is responsible for enabling opportunistic politicians to fan ethnic and regional resentments, even armed conflict. According to this point of view, the iron fist of an autocratic leader can keep a fractious society intact. But this argument, too, fails to withstand empirical scrutiny. Poor countries fall into conflict often-about one year in every five since 1980. But poor democratizers fight less frequently than do poor authoritarian nations. In sub-Saharan Africa, where most civil conflict has occurred recently, countries undergoing democratic reform have experienced armed conflict half as often as the norm in the region.

Although the data show that poor democracies do a better job of generating material benefits for their citizens than poor authoritarian countries, there is, of course, variation in each category. Some democracies flounder; a few authoritarian regimes, especially in eastern Asia, have flourished. The latter cases show that development under authoritarian systems is possible. Yet this class of authoritarian governments is far from representative of most autocracies around the world. South Korea, Taiwan, Singapore, and Indonesia encouraged the private sector, pursued export-oriented growth strategies, and were heavily influenced by Western democracies when they adopted their particular economic and political institutions. Moreover, as China demonstrated by its appalling economic record through the late 1970s (when it began to adopt market-oriented economic policies), authoritarianism is not the distinguishing characteristic of its growth. (This is a point underscored by the disastrous economic performances of other eastern Asian autocracies: North Korea, Burma, Cambodia, and the Philippines under Ferdinand Marcos.) Thus, although exceptional cases exist, it is the preponderance of experience that should guide development policy. And the overall evidence is overwhelming: poor democracies have had a consistent development advantage over poor autocracies over the past 40 years.

The complementary assumption of the development-first argument is that democracy will eventually follow economic progress. Specifically, as a country emerges into middle-income status-Newsweek's Fareed Zakaria and others have touted per capita income levels of $6,000 as the target income threshold-the increasingly sophisticated population will inevitably call for greater political participation, leading to a successful democratic transition. Yet there is a serious practical problem with testing this assumption: few authoritarian countries have attained the middle-income category. Since 1960, only 16 autocratic countries have had per capita incomes above $2,000. Of these, only six-Taiwan, South Korea, Spain, Portugal, Greece, and, debatably, Mexico-adopted democracy in the aftermath of economic expansion. This provides scant basis to apply a development-first model to the entire developing world. For that matter, the $6,000 benchmark would suggest that all but 4 of the 87 countries currently undergoing a democratic transition, including Brazil, Kenya, the Philippines, Poland, and South Africa, are unfit for democracy.

CONCEPTUAL UNDERPINNINGS

Having highlighted the superior performance of poor democracies over poor authoritarian regimes, we turn to the conceptual underpinnings of this pattern. Poor democracies outperform authoritarian countries because their institutions enable power to be shared and because they encourage openness and adaptability.

Democratic leaders have incentives to respond to the needs of common citizens. Otherwise, they find themselves out of office. And because ordinary people care about bread-and-butter issues, these concerns figure prominently in candidates' agendas. By contrast, the narrow clan-and patronage-based support on which autocratic leaders often rely for power gives them little incentive to focus on the general well-being of society.

The developmental advantage of democracies also stems from the checks and balances that characterize self-governing political systems. Power is not monopolized by any one individual or branch of government, even though a national leader may claim a popular mandate. Although democracy is a more cumbersome process, it reduces the scope for rash, narrowly conceived, or radical policies that can have disastrous economic consequences. Federated systems also place checks and balances on the various levels of government, thereby guarding against an overconcentration of power at the national level while allowing for flexibility to address local priorities.

Authoritarian regimes, by comparison, often turn political monopoly into economic monopoly. Only businesses and individuals closely tied to the ruling party are able to acquire the licenses, permits, credit, and other resources needed to succeed. Such preferential treatment diminishes competition and innovation and therefore reduces economic efficiency. Consumers get fewer choices and higher prices. When political allegiances also dictate access to education, housing, career options, and social status, the spectrum of opportunities available to political outsiders is severely narrowed. An integral virtue of democracies, therefore, is that they provide a sphere of private space, which, protected by law, nurtures inventiveness, independent action, and civic activity.

Democracies are open: they spur the flow of information. Organizations in and out of government regularly report findings, educate the public, and push political leaders to consider a full range of options, spreading good ideas from one sector to another. The free flow of ideas, every bit as much as the flow of goods, fosters efficient, customized, and effective policies. Put this way, development is an exercise in educating a population: to wash hands, improve farming techniques, eat nutritious food, or protect the environment, for example. And societies that promote the free flow of information have a distinct advantage in these efforts.

Information is best communicated through multiple and independent channels. For example, it was the active public-education campaign undertaken by the Ugandan government and nongovernmental organizations in the 1990s that dramatically reduced the transmission of HIV/AIDS in that country. Uganda was once the world leader in percentage of adult population infected, at roughly 30 percent, but by 2003, that rate had declined to 7 percent. By contrast, attempts to suppress information during the SARS epidemic in China allowed the disease to spread before the public became aware and concerted action could be taken. Once the epidemic was acknowledged, distrust of the government led many Chinese in infected areas to violate the government's quarantine. This example also confirms a larger proposition: democracies do a better job of correcting errors. Once private or public authorities make decisions in open societies, the results become known and corrective action, if needed, can be taken.

Openness also reduces the scope for corruption. An independent, investigative media creates higher expectations regarding transparency and disclosure of potential conflicts of interest. Paradoxically, greater openness in newly democratizing societies may at first lead to the perception that corruption is worsening. In Kenya, for example, a survey by Transparency International found that the perception of corruption was worse in 2003-the first year of the democratically elected government-than in the late 1990s, under the authoritarian rule of Daniel Aap Moi. Yet the same organization found that Kenyans paid an average of nine bribes in 2003, down from 29 in 2002, saving roughly 10 percent of their annual income.

Transparency does more than cut the cost of bribes, which, technically, merely transfer money from one citizen to another and do not thereby reduce average incomes. The World Bank estimates that corruption, which acts as a tax on legal commerce and makes returns less certain, costs the global economy five percent of its total value, or $1.5 trillion a year.

Adaptability is another beneficial feature of democracies. Democracies enhance political stability by establishing clear mechanisms for succession. This allows them to adapt smoothly to the death or electoral defeat of a leader, minimizing the scope for extralegal or coercive tactics to attain power. Development momentum is thus sustained even though specific policies change from one administration to the next.

Adherence to established means for transferring power reflects a commitment to the rule of law under a democracy: leaders can gain legitimacy in the eyes of the people only if they ascend to power through democratic processes. Political legitimacy grounded in the rule of law, in turn, provides the foundation for the application of legal norms in the conduct of government and business, and a rules-based regulation of the economy.

Finally, democratic structures adjust well to changing circumstances. Because policies in democracies flow from an elaborate process of trial and error, they can adapt to realities on the ground. When there is a constant flow of policies and ideas, there is pressure to amend, drop, or replace initiatives that do not work. Elections are the most distinctive junctures around which these adjustments occur. But even during a given leader's tenure, constant fine-tuning takes place. Democracies are distinctive, therefore, not because they always identify the best policy but because they institutionalize the right to change leaders or policies when things go poorly. This capacity for revitalization explains why citizens of established nations such as Argentina, Guatemala, Kenya, and South Africa spoke of living in a "new" country after recent democratic changes in leadership.

All in all, then, democracies present an enormously powerful set of institutions that propel development. The more representative, transparent, and accountable those governmental processes, the more likely policies and practices will respond to the basic priorities of the general population.

FIVE STEPS

With the case for supporting democracies so compelling, it may come as a surprise that the United States, other industrialized democracies, and international financial institutions have not shown greater preference to countries on the path to democracy when providing economic assistance. Instead, existing rules have typically prevented democratic criteria from guiding funding decisions. As a result, as much official development assistance (as a percentage of GDP) has been provided to autocracies as to democracies. This is not just a Cold War phenomenon; the same patterns have applied since 1990. Nor does it reflect disproportionate levels of humanitarian assistance to crisis-riven autocracies; the lack of distinction survives even if only non-emergency assistance is considered or the poorest countries are removed from the sample. Despite increased rhetoric and funding for democracy-promotion projects, the simple fact is that the West does not tilt its development assistance to democracies. This can and should change.

The U.S. government and the multilateral financial institutions should adopt five new policies to prioritize democracies. First, a principle of "democratic selectivity" should be embraced. Countries that develop democratic institutions, and thereby adopt power-sharing arrangements, should be given preference when allocating development assistance. Tilting aid to democracies would not only enhance the effectiveness of that aid, it would give clear, powerful incentives to nonrepresentative governments to shift course.

The Millennium Challenge Account (MCA) proposed by President George W. Bush and created by the U.S. Congress in 2004 is a major step in the right direction. Under the MCA rules, democratic governance, transparency, existence of economic rights, and investments in health and education are held up as qualifying criteria for countries to receive assistance. Funding distributed by the MCA should be increased, as originally proposed by President Bush, and the MCA board should continue to exclude nondemocratic countries, even if they meet other eligibility criteria.

But the MCA alone is an inadequate development strategy. The U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), still the major development actor in the U.S. government, should also offer preferential treatment to democracies and target its assistance to help countries undertaking democratic reforms. The United States should, of course, continue to respond to humanitarian crises, but these funds should be more closely circumscribed than at present so as to avoid inadvertently propping up repressive regimes.

Second, the charters of the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund (IMF), and the regional lending institutions should be amended to favor democratic regimes. Democracies should qualify for larger levels of funding, and their leaders, as legitimate representatives of their societies, should be granted considerable flexibility in identifying development priorities and strategies.

Under the articles of agreement signed at Bretton Woods in 1944, the World Bank and the IMF are currently prohibited from considering democratic legitimacy when making financing decisions. Thus, although a growing number of reformers in these institutions have come to appreciate the fundamental role that democracies play in enhancing development and economic stability, they are handcuffed from rewarding political reform. Moreover, because many of the multilateral development banks and bilateral donors take their lead from the World Bank and the IMF, the effects of this agnosticism have been amplified. To its credit, the World Bank in particular has supported more government-reform projects in recent years. But these projects focus primarily on improving the efficiency of the civil service, regulatory agencies, and control of corruption. Although commendable, they are insufficient because they overlook the reality that the foundation for a system of rule of law is the legal basis on which a society chooses its leaders.

The Bretton Woods provisions that prohibit using political criteria when disbursing aid were originally introduced to entice, albeit unsuccessfully, the Soviet Union into participating and to minimize the role of politics in macroeconomic policymaking. However, there is a major difference between "playing politics" in trying to influence the selection of a particular leader or political party and encouraging a country to adopt institutions that are representative, accountable, and responsive to its population. As the data above make clear, the latter political characteristics have an unambiguously positive impact on the very development goals prioritized by international financial institutions. Taking them into account, moreover, makes more geopolitical sense today than during the Cold War. Two-thirds of the world's states are now either democracies or on a democratic path, double the percentage in 1944. The European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD), the only regional development bank established since the end of the Cold War, explicitly considers democratic governance as an overarching objective, along with promoting market economies. The EBRD's profitability is proof that considering democratic orientation in financing decisions is an effective strategy.

Third, "democracy impact statements" should become an integral part of international development assistance. Much like environmental impact statements, such statements would include assessments of all major development initiatives to determine the extent to which they support or undermine democratic institutions and processes. After all, aid policies are not enacted in a political vacuum; economic reforms can damage political and social institutions. Adopting an otherwise smart economic reform that winds up throwing democratic reformers out office, for example, makes little long-term sense. These threats need to be taken into account, especially in fledgling democracies, since most backsliding occurs within three years of a transition to democracy.

The intertwining of politics and economics points to the importance of timely and customized assistance in countries that have recently started down a democratic path. Democratizers need to deliver tangible benefits-a "democracy dividend"-to the general citizenry during the early years of the transition. Democracy impact statements would better equip development agencies to help. Of course, even with a democracy impact statement in hand, the challenges facing reformers are complex. Building pro-growth, pro-democracy coalitions is made more difficult by the highly skewed distributions of income and power typically inherited from narrow autocratic systems. And for many societies emerging from autocracy, coalition building is a first-time experience in collective action.

Fourth, aid provided for security purposes should be separated from aid for development. The need to support authoritarian allies on security grounds, including gaining their cooperation on antiterrorism measures, continues to act as a significant constraint on a broader U.S. commitment to democracy-even after the Cold War. Washington's political and economic backing of General Pervez Musharraf's government in Pakistan is a case in point. Although justified on the grounds of enhancing regional stability, this kind of Faustian pact overlooks the reality that autocracies are at the heart of most instances of civil conflict, governance failures, transnational terrorism, and nuclear proliferation-the very perils the United States most wants to prevent.

At the very least, the United States should set up separate funding streams for security and development. When support for an autocratic government is deemed to be vital to U.S. security interests, aid should be committed explicitly by the president in the form of a time-limited "security waiver." Because the justification for such support would be security, funding would be drawn from defense rather than development accounts. Such clear earmarking of funds would make the tradeoffs involved more explicit and minimize situations in which the United States aligns itself with autocratic leaders at the expense of tolerant, forward-looking reformers. The crucial underlying message would be that democracy is Washington's default policy.

Fifth, the United States must create a cohesive development strategy. The goals of alleviating poverty and advancing development involve political, social, and security, as well as economic, considerations. Currently, the Treasury Department, working through the multilateral financial institutions, sets U.S. development policy-and predictably emphasizes economic stability. But development involves much more than macroeconomic policies. Putting development concerns center stage will require the steady involvement of agencies such as USAID, the Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC), the State Department, the Trade Development Authority, and the Overseas Private Investment Corporation, all of which have a focus on development. The policies of a number of other U.S. agencies-including the Office of the U.S. Trade Representative, the Department of Commerce, the Department of Labor, the Environmental Protection Agency, the CIA, and the Department of Defense-should also be taken into greater account, since they have direct, and sometimes damaging, impacts on development and democracy.

Fashioning an integrated, effective development strategy will require reconciling diverse and often competing interests. To do so, a Development Policy Coordination Council, an executive-level interagency council, should be created. This body would comprise four standing representatives: the secretary of state (who would chair the council), the secretary of the Treasury, the head of the MCC, and the administrator of USAID. It would formulate U.S. development policy, provide guidance to multilateral institutions, and reconcile the aims of all U.S. government agencies whose actions affect the developing world.

DEMOCRACY FIRST

We reject a "development first, democracy later" approach because experience shows that democracy often flourishes in poor countries. Moreover, evidence reveals that countries frequently remain poor precisely because they retain autocratic political structures. A development-first strategy thus risks perpetuating the deadly cycle of poverty, conflict, and oppression.

By contrast, a democracy-centered development strategy presupposes not only that poor countries can successfully democratize but also that democracy brings political checks and balances, responsiveness to citizen priorities, openness, and self-correcting mechanisms-all of which contribute to steady growth and superior living conditions. Establishing domestic institutions that hold leaders accountable to their citizenry, moreover, has the potential to shift the burdens of oversight for development initiatives from international institutions to national political structures. Such a transfer of responsibility would alleviate the administrative burden faced by international agencies and foster development strategies better adapted to local needs.

Alleviating poverty and advancing democracy are long, difficult processes susceptible to periodic setbacks. But these struggles should be contrasted with the incomparably worse hardships frequently suffered under autocracies: economic stagnation, humanitarian crises, and conflict. In helping the developing world rid itself of these scourges, the United States and other industrialized countries must make democracy central to their development agendas.

QT's diary and news and Shouts and Murmurs Oh My!

Where did the wonderful timestream slip off too?

If the lack of bloggage concerns thee, get better priorities I say. It's a goddamn blog, aight.

Have to keep up my political count ^^

Laughing at Whose line, reliving and slightly amazed at childhood prompters and Everybody seems to think I’m lazy. I don’t mind, I think they’re crazy...Don't waste the holidays! Important!

You should make a movie about dolphins. Dolphins are God's majestic creatures. Dolphins rule the planet and are smarter than you or me. Bow down to dolphins the mighty creatures of God's heaven and earth of the dolphin land! Please make a movie about dolphins, maybe gangster dolphins, I'll act in it for you you know.

- Jodie Miller, a dolphin fan

Right on! Wow, I really lack material. I STEAL material from famous people to pad out my own. How low can I go?! NO, does not refer to limbo or other sexually-related material, as much I want it to be...

Ciao Ciao!

Al-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz Malcolm X

Or Spike Lee's masterpiece.

As the long name suggests, I watched Malcolm X today! Absolutely mind-stunning oratory they had back then. Really well-done piece, even the credits were damn good. I didn't think i'd be able to sit still through a !(# minute movie (guess the numbers!), but it's a good movie.

I have like 30 eps of Whose line to watch!!! Far far too much. LMT it tomorrow! I have to bring HGTG for peesh-course.

Words of love and words so leisured,
words are poisoned darts of pleasure

GAH! apparently, Call your mother, she's worried about you, is spliced in backwards in Michael. I never noticed! These headphones rock. Anyway, bye bye.

it's Girl O Clock!

Great song.

Had a surprisingly...good day today? I dunno, life surprised me a little bit in a realistic sorta way, it's a bit offputting, but good.

I got musik! yay! deposited more money, go fiscal solvency! hehe. Watched Safron, watched a great ep of Whose line (season 6 ep7).

My respect for certain people has gone up like 40 notches, which places the average squarely at about...one of the upper layers of hell.

Nothing more, free time roxors! Night night.

This kicks so much ass

Explain how!

Ohaiyo!

Having a mahvelous couple of days, absolutely great. Yesterday was annoying at first, what with the heat and the LOSING OF THE WALLET ON THE BUS and all, but all that melted away in Audrey Tatou. She's so cute! Now my favourite foreign starlet replacing, umm, that girl with the whale. Yeah.

Today, went and got my wallet back...like that. It was creepy. Then, went and got my shiny new debit card! Yayyyyyy! it's so shiny *gleams* After that, I went and filed my Youth Allowance form! Bureacracy is a rabid, rabid beast. Are you a 9 year-old father? If so, please get Mod F, for freak. But atleast now it's out of the way, and I get free money from teh government! yay.

Rented DVD's! I got teh Kube, and Malcolm X. More fun movie watching. And that's not even the best part.

I went to the Asian Grocery to get some melona, and the person was like, 'Umm yeah, that one is a bit squished...You can have it.'

FOR FREE!

How awesome is that?! Free melona! (It was squished, but still delicious, and that's all that really matters.)

Happiness is a free melona.

*sighs in content* Sayonara!

Oh Goody Pilgrim! Where fore art thou, Goody Pilgrim?

I watched Millers' Crossing! yay!

I have thoughts on it, cannot be bothered to air them. or dry them...hmmm, maybe I require a better cleaning service.

No more exams! no more school! aren't roses just lovely?

Off to umm...something.

Goddamn it

I need to talk with my inner therapist.

I'm reading some of my older posts, and it's...weird. Some posts i've sorta proud of, and other posts are absolutely shocking, but it's not really that that's bothering me...Just when I read some of the posts, it feels alien. Like I didn't write it. I read them and think, 'My god, I wrote that? When I did write like that? And use those words?'. It's...scary, but it doesn't matter...*sigh* it's been a mind-blurring couple of years, my sanity is only being chipped away oh so slowly.

Shakazulu!

Go brak Go!

You're not very bright are you?
Who's asking?

Watching cool tvs shows, watched American Beauty, really good movie...quite sweet too.

Saw GITS with god-awful subtitling, nearly ruined the movie it did. *grumbles on further about god-awful subtitling*

Are you saying you don't love me?

Tchuss tchuss!

w00t! to the power of w00t!

That's a little maths humour there for you maths folk.

Ok let's play a game where you ask me which substance i'm on, and I scream loudly, and then you ask why I screamed loudly, and to respond I scream back louder!

I love that game!

Have a bitchin' time. I finished a game which I had been meaning to finish for a while, under my new must finish crap i've started policy. I just borrowed four movies which i've harassed, that's right, been harassed to see, with those four being Amelie, Millers Crossing, Ghost in the Shell and American Beauty. I come home and find that it's time for my brother to do one of those cool things that he just seems to do, which means he's got a bootlegged DVD of Shrek 2. I fuckin' loooooove communism. I know that has nothing to do with Shrek, but hell. Thought I should mention it here.

Muhahahahaha! The video store will rue the day they gave me a rent one, get one free card! *more evil laughter*

As i'm typing this up and getting ready to snuggle up for some animated fun, I think to myself, damn it, if only I had some ramen or some icecream for this situation. Aw hell, any sort of weird food. Then I remembered that I bought chocolate wafers from the asian grocery! WOOOOOO!

What a odd coincidence. I usually feel really shitty on the day that I have an Ancient History exam, but it's always turned out to be like super-incredibly good. So awesome.

Giving blood in little under 14 and a half hours, then going to go see lesbian sex under the guise of Mulholland Drive, and then going to enjoy having a four day weekend. How much more rockin' can this get?!

Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay...

Crême glacée, chocolat et d'autres consolations

Salut!

Watched cute little french movie on SBS. I didn't see any chocolate on it though. It had a nice fable and a very cute cat on it, so it's alright.

The price of my wellbeing has gone up astronomically! Before, all it took was a 80-cent packet of ramen. Now, it takes $3.00 dollars worth of cookies and ramen to do the same! Outrageous.

I have lots of free time and things to be discouraged from. Au revoir!

No reason really

I'm posting more about of habit than any sort of need to post...That's not good.

Why won't my fox remember my favicons? *slight rage*

wooshness! Should I start using lip balm again?

Learnt some things, realised some things, ended up generally being a bitch. One's own selfishness can astound you, though it shouldn't.

yay! lack of school! allows me to catch up on other things! woo!

Everybody gets screwed over in life, some to a greater extent, some to a lesser. The only thing you can really control is how much you get screwed over.

Sayonara all!

Eek! the cat

Does anyone remember that show?! I found a torrent for the second season! YES!!! childhood memories, in torrent form!

Been going manic and dling torrents like crazy, finding all these cool random things that I used to love but somehow disappeared. Like Earthworm Jim. YAYNESS!!!

I'm on the edge, and I would like you to push me off, but that seems too mean...*sigh*

Explain!

WTF? you get an SMS about a terrorist attack!? they couldn't fucking call!? how the hell would you word that?! how would react to an SMS telling you about a terrorist attack!?

Something deep and meaningful, but angsty. Tchuss!

Richard Simmons

Has anyone seen the Richard Simmons episode of Whose line is it anyway? So goddamn funny.

Spilt some ramen *gasp*, watched some TV, did some cleaning, did some organising, dled Antics stereo (yayness to the max!), and now blogging.

Goodness indeed. Night.

w00t!

One break!

And several fucking let downs. Yes you heard right, Let downs.

but yeah, annoying, but it's clearing up...*SIGH* it's only gonna get worse though.

Me being the good little communist I am, just finished watching a documentary by Oliver Stone on Castro and the Cuban revolution in general. Hell of a guy Castro.

Oh right, exams...crap.

véale más adelante!

Preppiness

Apparently, Brad and Jennifer are planning to adopt. Not are they both astonishingly good-looking, they're also morally respectable. That's something you DO NOT see in Hollywood. Fuckin' A.

See your investment almost every night!

made a niceish day, I bought some ramen and had some melona! yayayayayayay. Mmmm melona.

Off to watch tv...on my computer!

iPod!

Now that I have your attention, i'll get on with this.

Watched Coffee and Cigarettes! yayyyyy. The ratings been changed from R to M15+, hope they didn't cut something out for that. Good movie anyway, classic, classic film noir. Granted, this is my first film noir, but this just oozes it. Onto to Miller's Crossing.

Good movie, good company, turned out to be a good day. Off to Beck's sweet, sweet voice I go!

question = ( to ) ? be : ! be

Yes! Nerd-dom!

I finished teh Pi, it's pretty trippy. *sigh* Exams, work, holidays coming soon. I'm so woefully underprepared and unprepared. Ah well. Ciao!

Why isn't Slobodan Milosevic incarcerated?

It's been 2 goddamn years!

Ok, who's been slipping weed into my drinking water?

I heard Beck! on TV! It was Odelay! The good song on it, Where It's At! and...*drum roll* it was on Gilmore Girls!

Good moon out.

*insert ending here*

Robots?!

FLCL is teh random. Great line from it too:

"There are rumours that it was an arson."

"Yeah, it was probably some housewife, stressed out from doing chores."

So true.

While over a hundred sex abuse claims have been settled at a cost of nearly $50 million - or 800,000 collection plates - the Archdiocese still faces dozens of cases, explaining why Portland's host wafers have been replaced with blessed ramen noodles.

Huzzah! You called me crazy, but I knew it was going to happen! My time has come! Muhahahah

The Daily Show rocks.

The album of my life.

*screaming*

*awkward silence*

*talking*

*crying*

*gashes*

*talking*

*silence*

Au revoir!

The entity formerly known as God.

Nothing will come out that won't be angst. Goddamn.

And so, a little diversion:

In the control room next door are Steven Quartz, a Caltech neuroscientist, and Colin Camerer, an economist, who are looking inside my brain to help understand some of the most vexing problems in postmodern society—irrational market bubbles, intractable Third World poverty and loser brothers-in-law who want to borrow $5,000 to open a franchised back-rub parlor. My brain was helping science explain why, despite centuries of progress in economic theory since Adam Smith, actual human beings so often refuse to behave as equations say they should.

For all its intellectual power and its empirical success as a creator of wealth, free-market economics rests on a fallacy, which economists have politely agreed among themselves to overlook. This is the belief that people apply rational calculations to economic decisions, ruling their lives by economic models. Of course, economists know that the world doesn't actually work this way; if it did, you wouldn't need a financial adviser to remind you to save for retirement. But until recently the anomalies were chalked up to the pernicious influence of emotions, emanations from the primitive regions of the brain, a kind of mental noise interfering with the pure, rational expression of economic self-interest.

The new paradigm sweeping the field, under the rubric of "behavioral economics," holds that studying what people actually do is at least as valuable as deriving equations for what they should do. And when you look at human behavior, you discover, as Camerer and his collaborator George Loewenstein of Carnegie Mellon have written, that "the Platonic metaphor of the mind as a charioteer driving twin horses of reason and emotion is on the right track—except that cognition is a smart pony, and emotion a big elephant." The fMRI machine enables researchers in the emerging field of neuro-economics to investigate the interplay of fear, anger, greed and altruism that are activated each time we touch that most intimate of our possessions, our wallets.

Economists have many ways of demonstrating the irrationality of their favorite experimental animal, Homo sapiens. One is the "ultimatum game," which involves two subjects—researchers generally recruit undergraduates, but if you're doing this at home, feel free to use your own kids. Subject A gets 10 dollar bills. He can choose to give any number of them to subject B, who can accept or reject the offer. If she accepts, they split the money as A proposed; if she rejects A's offer, both get nothing. As predicted by the theories of mathematician John Nash (subject of the movie "A Beautiful Mind"), A makes the most money by offering one dollar to B, keeping nine for himself, and B should accept it, because one dollar is better than none.

But if you ignore the equations and focus on how people actually behave, you see something different, says Jonathan D. Cohen, director of the Center for the Study of Brain, Mind and Behavior at Princeton. People playing B who receive only one or two dollars overwhelmingly reject the offer. Economists have no better explanation than simple spite over feeling shortchanged. This becomes clear when people play the same game against a computer. They tend to accept whatever they're offered, because why feel insulted by a machine? By the same token, most normal people playing A offer something close to an even split, averaging about $4. The only category of people who consistently play as game theory dictates, offering the minimum possible amount, are those who don't take into account the feelings of the other player. They are autistics.

The fMRI machine shows how all this works inside the brain. A low offer stimulates activity in the brain's insular cortex, a relatively primitive region associated with negative emotions including anger and disgust. This appears to compete with the more highly evolved prefrontal cortex, the locus of the rational impulse to take the dollar and go buy a soda with it. The more activity in the insular cortex, the more likely subjects were to reject the offer. This is a big step toward being able to see on a screen what people actually want, rather than what they say in focus groups or interviews. Would brain-scan-assisted matchmaking or employee headhunting be more efficient than the way these have been carried out until now? Or would the fMRI merely ratify the judgments of intuition? Psychologists can hardly wait to find out.

And for their part, economists can hardly contain their glee at the research horizons this opens up. "Imagine if you could go on the floor of the stock exchange and see what was going on in traders' brains," says Camerer. "We kept hearing during the bubble that people were behaving as if they were in a delusional state. Well, were they or weren't they?" People don't save enough for their retirements because of a phenomenon known as forward discounting: they value money more in the here and now than 20 years down the road. If we could understand how this process works in the brain, says Paul Glimcher, a leading neuroscientist at New York University, we would have a head start on figuring out how to overcome it.

Much of Glimcher's work is with monkeys, which can be implanted (safely and painlessly, he stresses) with electrodes that can detect in real time the firing of a single neuron. By contrast, the fMRI only indirectly tracks brain function by measuring blood flow. This is an imprecise indicator both spatially—it deals with regions of hundreds of thousands of neurons—and temporally, since it lags several seconds behind the neural activity it reflects. Monkeys, obviously, don't save for their retirements, and you couldn't expect them to grasp the rules of the ultimatum game. But they do have a rudimentary concept of economic choice, and researchers have discovered a medium of exchange—Berry Berry fruit drink—that can usefully stand in for money in a monkey's mental life.

To illustrate how monkeys make economic decisions, Glimcher's former colleague Michael Platt, now at Duke, has investigated how they value status within their troop. Male monkeys have a distinct dominance hierarchy, and Platt has found they will give up a considerable quantity of fruit juice for the chance just to look at a picture of a higher-ranking individual. This is consistent with field observations, Platt says, which have found that social primates spend a lot of time just keeping track of the highest-ranking troop member. It isn't known exactly why monkeys do this, but the finding might help explain the behavior of human beings who pay $1,000 just to sit in a hotel ballroom with the president. You can draw whatever conclusion you choose from Platt's finding that there is no quantity of juice sufficient to get a male monkey to look away from the hindquarters of a female in estrus.

Glimcher is trying to piece together the building blocks of economic choice in the brain, starting at the most basic level of a single neuron. In weighing options—a gamble on a roulette wheel, say, or the purchase of a bond—economists invoke the concept of "expected value." It is the potential payoff of a given course of action, multiplied by the chance of collecting it. Hence the expected value of flipping a coin to win $1 is 50 cents. A more sophisticated mathematical function called "expected utility" takes into account most people's inborn aversion to risk, and appears to more accurately reflect how people actually make these choices. Tossing a coin for $10 million or getting a guaranteed $5 million both have the same expected value, but a different expected utility—and most people who aren't already millionaires would take the sure thing. (Or so economists believe. No one has come up with the funding to test the hypothesis.) In his monkey research, Glimcher has isolated individual neurons that fire in response to the expectation of getting a drink of juice. By manipulating the odds of getting the drink and the size of the drink, he has shown that the rate at which these neurons fire is proportionate to the expected utility of the juice payoff. The implication is electrifying, especially to economists: an abstract, mathematically derived formula appears to be literally hard-wired into the primate brain.

And that, in turn, is a step toward the holy grail of marketing: being able to figure out how people will make choices that haven't been offered yet. The same tools that can answer deep questions about primate behavior can also be used to get people to sign up for more cell-phone minutes than there actually are in a month. A handful of researchers in the United States and Europe are already using fMRIs to test how product brands are represented in the brain. The goal of every consumer marketer is to have people "identify" with a brand, to develop the kind of loyalty that goes far beyond a utilitarian preference for, say, one kind of pickup truck over another. Emory University psychologist Clint Kilts scanned subjects as they looked at a variety of products, from cars to soft drinks, and found that this sense of brand identification elicited a strong response in the medial prefrontal cortex. This is the brain area associated with what psychologists call the "sense of self," one's self-constructed identity. His insights are now being offered to the corporations of the world through the BrightHouse Neurostrategies Group in Atlanta, a pioneer in the emerging field of neuromarketing. "There's a pretty big gap in our understanding of consumers, which neuroscience can help close," says Justine Meaux, a researcher at BrightHouse. But—well aware of the Orwellian implications of this work—she hastens to add that "there's no 'buy button' out there to be found. We're not going to subvert free will. This isn't about screwing the consumer."

Glimcher has thought about these questions, too. Based on his research into choice and preference, he says, "If a corporation came here and said, 'We want to be able to tell the lowest salary a candidate will accept for a job,' I wouldn't do it. But given six months or a year, I think it would be possible." Of course, he admits, you couldn't scan people's brains, practically or ethically, without their knowing it. So they would have to voluntarily submit to an fMRI scan. Would they? Well, Glimcher says, "how badly do you want the job?"

Inside the scanner at Caltech, I played a version of what economists call the "investment game." Quartz, in the next room, watched images of my brain while I manipulated a thumb switch and studied choices on fiber-optic goggles. At the same time his collaborator Read Montague was overseeing a subject inside a similar machine in his laboratory at Baylor University. The game is played thusly: at the start of each of 10 rounds, I am given an imaginary stake of $10. I can keep it all, or "invest" some or all of it with my opposite number at Baylor. Anything I invest gets tripled, and the other player then has the option of returning any portion of that amount back to me. If I keep $5 and invest $5, the other player has $15 to divide between us. He can keep it all and send me nothing if he chooses, but since in this version of the game we play for 10 rounds—there are also one-round variations—he obviously has an incentive to keep my trust. This game investigates one of the —hottest topics in behavioral economics: interpersonal trust. Observing that some societies are consistently richer than others, social scientists have invoked such ingenious explanations as "the Protestant ethic" (of working and saving for the future) or "the resource curse" (when an elite controls a valuable natural resource, such as oil, and has no incentive to encourage political and economic modernization). One of the newest explanations is "trust," which varies widely between societies and is strongly correlated with economic growth, says Paul Zak, an economist at Claremont Graduate University. Trust encourages savings and investment, and reduces the "transaction cost" of investigating the people you do business with. But, compared with well-studied behaviors such as aggression, relatively little is known about the biological basis for trust. (Zak's own research is not on brain function directly, but on oxytocin, a hormone that seems to promote trust. It is usually studied in relation not to the stock market but to lovemaking and breast-feeding.)

"If we knew what creates trust and could intervene to encourage it, we could do a lot of good for the world," says Camerer. Hence the investment game. Because the participants have no outside force to keep them honest, it represents an unusually pure test of interpersonal trust in a laboratory setting. And I was determined to ace it! I didn't get a seat on the subway to work for 39 consecutive days last year by trusting the other passengers to leave one for me.

My approach, it turns out, is consistent with some of the findings coming out of Quartz and Montague's research. The cingulate cortex, which processes both emotions and abstract thinking, becomes especially active after one player betrays the other by cutting back on how much he shares—as if the brain, or at least this crucial part of it, is "hypertuned" to detect betrayal. Quartz has also seen intriguing differences between men and women in the scanner. Men's brains tend to shut down after they've made their decision, awaiting a reply from the other subject. But women don't relax so easily; they show continued activity in at least three areas—the ventral striatum (the brain's center for anticipating rewards), the ventral medial prefrontal cortex (which is involved with planning and organizing) and the caudate nucleus (a checking and monitoring region, sometimes associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder). Women, says Quartz, seem to obsess more over whether they did the right thing—and how the other subject will react to them.

There's one other intriguing discovery coming out of this work, which has even the scientists baffled: with approximately 85 percent accuracy, the subjects, separated by the distance from Los Angeles to Texas, can guess whether they're playing against a man or a woman. They appear to be picking up on subtle clues in the interactions that the scientists themselves haven't identified.

So here was my strategy. In total defiance of the social norms that should incline me toward cooperation and trust, I pursued the single-minded goal of amassing as many points as possible. Recognizing that the more I invested the more money there would be for both of us to split, on each round I sent all $10 to my counterpart, who routinely returned $16 (of $30) to me—just enough over half to keep me going.

That is, until the ninth round, when, I calculated, the other subject could come out ahead by keeping the whole $30. So I got there first: I "invested" zero. I did the same on the last round and cleared a hypothetical $148 ($16 times eight rounds, plus $10 times two rounds) to her (or his) $112 ($14 times eight rounds). And I pulled off one more coup: I figured out, correctly as it happened, that I was playing against a woman. I reasoned that a man would have been just as competitive as I am, and guessed that I was going to betray him on the ninth round—so he would have kept all $30 to himself on the eighth round. (At least, most of the ones I know would have.) Out of such insights, scientists are constructing a model for some of the most intricate and sophisticated decisions a fully evolved human being can face in the modern world. And maybe, in some small way, if Camerer and his colleagues are right, making the world a more trusting and cooperative—and peaceful—place.

Early Post!

Yay! Now you can have my thoughts, only earlier!

I have a headache. Ouch. Make it stop.

I fucking hate the real world.

Had a moment of weakness today, I caught it and put it into a little jar, and now it makes a pleasant buzzing sound. It glows so prettily, like a firefly...

I have to thank someone/something for my life. I just don't know who/what. I can't very well thank a dead person/thing, especially when that person/thing is being raped/having consensual sex, depending on how you view that whole matter.

Sayo-nara.

Peaches and Cream

is pretty much what's been on my mind this day.

It's such a simple fail-safe. Whenever I know i'm going to be in a bad mood for the day, i'll cheat and resort to either angsting the day out or i'll try and distract myself with something. Often enough, it's sex, cause it's so much easier to think about, and more people are willing to talk about it. Joke about it, atleast.

And so now, with great gusto (Yes! No. 4) I present to you, The Paedophiliac's (ever wonder how large and unwieldy this word is? Damn the Greeks!) Handbook:

The Paedophiliac justification of politeness: It's rude to ask a woman her age.

The Paedophiliac justification of legal defense: The word 'prostatot' was invented for a reason. Use it.

The Paedophiliac justification of civic duty: Sexy children are a disease, we are the cure.

The Paedophiliac justification of seduction: If they're wearing anything made by the Olsen twins, they're asking for it.

That's all for now in the The Paedophiliac's Handbook, there may be more to come! I'm sure we're all looking forward to that.

I laughed A LOT today at school, mostly at pointless random crap that kept my mind off things. Among the things that I laughed at include:

'Hey how's your girlfriend?'

'Oh I don't know, she changed her e-mail address.'

Hah! Clever reference! Can you spot it? It's in the above sentence.
Okay, it's not really that clever.

I got to use the word 'ignoble' today! Go me. I have several problems. Including this.

I believe this can attributed to your fathah. Go home and talk to him. In fact, go home and talk to all your relations. It saves me the bother of having to listen to you BITCH.

There, didn't that make me feel much better? That'll be 30 dollars.

One seeks either knowledge or love or death. If one is unsuccessful in obtaining either of the first two, one usually seeks the third one.

Anyway, i'll go before the sugar high wears off and I sink into my moray of depression and angst...Tchuss!

EDIT: Wha??!? What happened?! Where you heathen devil, where from did you spawn from, demon child of the deep?! Goddamn it, something is seriously wrong if i'm feeling this energetic. Maybe if I torture a child...or two...

Finally

A decent day, where I didn't have to work so fucking hard. The expletive in that was probably unneeded. Fuck that shit.

Saw Jersey Girl, nice movie really, overly kitschy at times, but meh. Had the trademark Kevin Smith dialogue, produced many great lines. Only he could use the word impugned that well.

"I'm tired of being your geisha."

Attention: Prices are subject to customers attitude.

Increased my little circle of trust, I've got so much work to do. Why did no one inform me! *sigh* I'll be good for it.

Something's wrong cause my mind is fading,
Cause everywhere there's a dead end waiting

Tchuss!

Interesting!

I couldn't think of a better title.

I have books! Good ones to boot.

And in other news, China ownzed Korea in the doubles table tennis.

Meh.

Oh good.

This means that I can revert back to being a callous bitch, and not feel guilty about it.

It's so much more satisfying to read a soap then it is to watch one. Atleast with reading, you sorta have to force yourself to follow, and the writing style is that housewife English-style, which i'm really starting to like. It seems cool, i'll finish it and all.

ummm, yayness!

oh what the hell? suddenly i'm happy and shit. Where the hell did this come from? damn emotional attachment! *sigh* don't worry, i'll deal with it...

Don't ask.

Had a mostly shitteh day today, had it's moments. Like pizza.

Slept off for about a minute on the train, just long enough for me to miss my stop, and end up going all the way to Strathfield. Kinda ironic that I woke up to 'Remember...'

I have FLCL! Joy.

Rose will arrive soon, yay, Faye will have someone to talk to. She's ever so tired of pleasuring me.

Eh, aside from that, have fun, be good, etc, etc. Noight.

Possibly Maybe...

Probably not...

More Lucky and Unhappy really.

Last couple of weeks have been hella tiring, especially last couple of days. Like, fuck, i'm so tired that i'm having trouble sleeping tired. Either expect me to something incredibly radical or absolutely nothing at all.

I would sigh but that's so passe :P

People are always telling you that change is a good thing. What they're really telling you is that something you didn't want to happen at all has happened.

Joie de Vivre, I guess...

Life looks good.

And that's all it seems to be.

Like everything sorta seems to be in place. I have an iPod. I have news on it. I'm getting it all fixed. Did I mention iPod?

Home seems alright, school is sorta annoying, and...iPod, I guess...

I'm starting to like positive notes. not good.

Anyway, night people.

Finally.

"Then a band like this Australian band Jet, who I have seen... They don't have anything. They're nothing. They can't play. I mean, the drummer kind of can play, but he's a drummer. They don't have any songs, and they're boring to watch, and they don't look good. But they're playing around the world because they play this normal rock music. I mean, it's unfortunate that people are being forced to like that, for a kind of Rolling Stones fix, as opposed to [The Witnesses] which may be as good."

- Matt, of The Fiery Furnaces, in an interview to Pitchfork.

Bahahahahahah.

Mostly a nothing day, been watching fuckloads of Naruto. I knew I shouldn't have started. Damn it.

Umm...I should, like, do something...But my mind is, like, stopped. Take care anyway :)

WOAH

I just heard Interpol - TOTBL.

But not just anywhere. It was on a Ten Sports ad!!! heard the beginning and then, 'We can cap the old times...' Cut out there.

That was trippy.

Had an amazing day today. Honestly, just amazing.

I've haven't felt this way in ages; it's just the feeling of being relaxed, calm. It's not happy; for me that's more characterised by giddiness, the feeling of having blood rush through your body. But just serene, not really paying attention to things, but noticing them anyway. It's like looking at a sunset, and going "what a nice sunset..." and that's it. Just that.

Had a very good day, with the brewhahahing, and the talking, and just...niceness.

I know that I should say everything that happened, but it just feels so nice. I just want to sit here and sort of melt into the bliss...

The only people who write about ethics are the only people not to have them.

mmmmm, ramen...

Sounds of silence, eerie yet comforting, leaving you exactly where you were...

I have Naruto! bye.

May our bodies remain...

Another painful, stressful day, but it's getting better.

I'm resorting to my unhealthy, unhealthy coping strategies to deal with stuff, but that's the point, they're coping strategies, not long-term solutions.

I had some icecream, had a very nice jar of olives, wanted some more but I didn't have any :(...Oh well, it was probably for the best, I felt kinda sick after it anyway :P

And yeah, about my coping strategies. I'm using comfort foods, music, exercise, art and some of the milder forms of masochism to get through all this, so don't be alarmed if you see mild injuries on me.

I should do a more detailed post explaining what all this really means and what i'm talking about, but I'm gonna try and sleep. It's been my first day in a while that I haven't had stress crippling me entirely, and I'm trying to take advantage of it.

Anyway, if I have time and I can meet you all in person, and you can be bothered to ask me what all this means, I'll be happy to explain a bit further. Otherwise, night. Take care :)

Err yeah, I'm probably going to stop this thing soon...

Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
I myself may look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violent waste

Can't you see what you've done to my heart
And soul...
This is a wasteland now

We spies, we slow hands
Put the weights all around yourself
We spies, oh yeah, we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself

I submit my incentive is romance
I watched the pole dance of the stars
We rejoice cause the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars

But I am married to your charms and grace
Just be crazy like the good old days
You make me wanna pick up a guitar
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you

Can't you see what you've done to my heart
And soul...
This is a wasteland now

I'm probably not going to post very often on this, as it seems to be that the majority of the posts just involve me being stupid...I wish for a lot of things. I need to stop.

I don't know. I just don't. I'm sorry.

Nobody ever talks about death in a supermarket.

It's not going to be an eventful post. It's not going to be an eventful day.

The sun will still rise in the east, set in the west, and otherwise bathe us in light.

Motherfucker.

The undertaking of a new action brings new strength.

Night all.

Damn it, why do I have to make decisions now?

Difficult. Just Difficult.

Not really sure what to do right now, I have some things in mind, but they didn't work before so yeah....

Fuck.

*sigh*

Quotes!

I got lost on the road of life.

What's the point of having a home if you don't have a homeless person to drive past to get there?.

The greatest love affair I've ever had was with myself.

What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!

I only know two pieces. One is 'Claire de lune', and the other isn't.

I can't listen to too much Wagner. It makes want to invade Poland.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.

It is the duty of the old to worry on the behalf of the young. It is the duty of the young to scorn the anxiety of the old.

Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.

The birds hung in the air the way bricks don't.

Whenever you feel like crying or running away, sing.

A diplomat is a person who can tell you you're going to hell in such a way that you're looking forward to it.

You must lose a fly to catch a trout.

You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.

When in doubt, lie. When not in doubt, lie anyway. You get a better price.

It's OK to sell out. At the right price.

Hope, like the gleaming taper's light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Assume a virtue, if you have it not.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

I have several castles in the air. Would you like to join me?

I saw a couple of cute girls, so I had to dance for them.

Ignorance is bliss.

All perception of truth is the detection of an analogy.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

Pain is just your body's way of saying something is wrong.

I've never been fond of overly political music or overly musical politicians.

Nothing encourages sin as so much as mercy.

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

Seek not happiness too greedily, and be not fearful of happiness.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.

If hope is all a man has, do not take it from him.

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

Death solves all problems - No man, no problem.

He who has never hoped can never despair.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Man can never use sex to get what they want. Sex is what they want.

A witty saying proves nothing.

I got lost on the road of life.

Kakashi is sooo cool.

Man, Naruto is hyper-addictive, and i'm up to the chuunin test! and I now know who Gaara is! ooh *spooky music*

My first real day of depression today, I'm such a classic case. Hopefully this doesn't happen too much more.

Yes, that was stupid :P Bye all.

I love technology. Editing is so much easier.

Military quotes!

When Bismarck asked the Swiss Ambassador what the 250,000 Swiss Army would do if 500,000 Germans invaded, his reply was "Shoot twice, then go home."

"So, what do you wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?," etc. COL (DIA) describing the way OUSD(S) develops and implements their strategies.

"It was seen, visually." LTC (EUCOM) during a Reconnaissance briefing.

I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT AND KILL THE PEOPLE WHO DECIDED TO BRING SASUKE BACK.

You cannot do shit like that and get away with it. Seriously.

Anyway, I think I will do a good, long post detailing all the shit that's happened this holidays, considering how amazingly crazy it's been.

But not right now :P

Yeah, that was pretty stupid, but yes, I will try my best to cover these holidays soon.

I was really using this post as an excuse to post cute little military quotes anyway. Here's the link.

Au revoir all, and please for gods sake, enjoy yourselves! I cbf'ed thinking of a beautiful speech here, but have fun in life as much you can.

A mixed bag really.

Of Anime that is.

First off, something a little serious: I never realised how much of an asshole I could be. Really really sorry to person involved.

...

Sasuke (or Sasky, as Peesh-Corshe calls him)...No...NOT SASKY!!!!

And he had just become Sharingan...*wipes lots of anime tears off face*

Bahahahahah bowling.

Mallrats was teh awesome, though possibly the worst of Jay and Silent Bobs. I have now seen all Jay and Silent Bob. I feel proud.

Ummm...Damn it. *draws blanks*

Okay, okay, this is stupid, But:

You know one of those moments where you don't quite feel right and you really want some chocolate but there's none around, and you think, dammit, you can never get chocolate when you want it? You know one of those?

Well, I just had one of those, and I was scouting for chocolate, when I open my freezer and find: Chocolate Entice!

YES!

My brother actually did something cool for once.

Lotsa little things.

I actually consumed some of the other varieties of donuts that Krispy Kreme offers. I never knew that sugar comes in so many different shapes and colours.

Now that I think about it, really there was only one. Clear.

NARUTO!

Lying in the sun
everyday feeling all of the magic in life
and the wonder...

I've having a decentish holidays, I'm starting to get that feeling of lack of doing productiveness which I so love/loathe, so am organising to do things. I just don't know what. Meh.

See, whenever I come to do this, I've have lots of things that I will want to say, but can't remember as i'm doing this, but remember just after I finish doing this. It's annoying. Or indicative of something. Hopefully something stupid.

Either way, I'll go read my LoTR (I'm up the Mines of Moria! yay! Gandalf just 'died'). I sorta kinda want to do review/thoughts on it, but cannot be fucked. It's more or less like people say. I'll do something later after i've done like the first book or something.

Man, I procastinate too much.

I hate election years. Goddamn propaganda.

Night all.

Wow.

My teenage angst bullshit is actually start to piss me off.

Life has been good, in its own warped, fucked up sort of way.

I'm far stupider than I could ever realise, and that makes me happy.

I now know what the tube for KY Jelly looks like.

My mum is leaving for the States tomorrow. Well, technically today.

This writing style is starting to annoy me, as do I.

I'd better stop wasting posts.

Bye.

I'm posting about posting. Somebody shoot me.

I'm like in the mood but not in the mood to post.

I have lots of things that I need to get off my chest and things to examine and think about and I have no fucking idea what to do.

I had a prolonged blast of fun just then, i'm paying for it physically and mentally. Jesus that's annoying.

Read. Eat. Sleep. Possibly one of the most true things ever said.

Aleatoric: Something characterised by chance; random.

By digitizing thunder and traffic noises, Georgia was able to create aleatoric music.

Goddamn it i'm being really indecisive right now. Fuck it, i'm not gonna bother posting something decent.

Has anyone seen my sexually perverse photographs involving tennis rackets?

My teenage angst bullshit has a body count.

I wish you all happiness.

Welcome to the human race. You're a mess.

That's almost exactly how I feel.

It's been...confusing? painfully debilitating? mildly uplifting? I'll have to wait a little while longer I guess.

How long do you have to wait...

In other news, Maria Sharapova beat Serena Williams 6-1, 6-4 to win the 2004 Wimbledon championship.

In related news, the skirts seem to be getting shorter (by this, I mean non-existent) and Sharapova is quite good-looking.

Worse things could happen I suppose. bye bye all.

I probably have lost something.

Was not a very good day, certain people are getting really really annoying. Ok, maybe not that annoying, but ANNOYING nevertheless.

So in order, you can have this:

Once upon a time and a very good time there lived three little pigs. These pigs were no ordinary pigs; no, they were veterans of the Vietnam War. They were bitter and resentful about the fact that half the people in the world didn't even know where Vietnam was. For you see, in this world, Vietnam was on another planet, and the pigs were fighting an alien race, bent on the enslavement of this worlds baby animals. It was just a happy coincidence that the world of the alien race was called Vietnam.

Nowadays, these pigs lived out in the open country, where they could be free and happy and wallow in their own filth, if they so wished to do so. One of the piggies was lying in a hammock and reading one of his favourite novels, Cervantes by Don Quixote. The novel went a bit like this:

A long time ago, in faraway Romania, there once lived a man called Cervantes. There has been some dispute over that name; some people claim it to be Cervanto, while others claim it to be Cervantoeosa; but for the sake of pronounciation, we shall call him by his popular name, Cervantes.

Cervantes was by no means a interesting character, so therefore we shall move on to his lovely and beautous wife. His wife was a beautiful woman, who had some very odd interests; she adored tulips and was absolutely smitten by cats. She kept many cats around her, but was unable to procure tulips, as the harsh Romanian climate prevented her from doing so.

One day, Cervantes was coming back from a long day in the tofu fields, only to find himself being cuckolded by no less than the buxom and blonde milkmaid.

'Alas!' He cried. 'Alack! Apain and awoe!' He moaned. He chased out the two scantily clad women onto the street, much to the cheering and delight of onlookers.

'Cuckolded!' Cervantes raged. 'By no less then the buxom and blonde milkmaid!'. He yelled and screamed and broke things till his voice was hoarse, and he had run out of things to break. He mumbled bitterly to himself and sat down to ponder his unfortunate fate.

At this point, the pig was tired, and so promptly went off to sleep.

Meanwhile, another piggie was sitting in his room, cleaning and polishing his large collection of fully loaded, fully functional sniper rifles. He was cleaning the barrel of one his favourite ones right now: The Sig Sauer SG 550. This semi-auto, gas operated baby fired .223 bullets and had a 650mm barrel. The piggie was sitting and cleaning his rifle, when his sensors picked something up. It was that damn bitch Cinderella again, selling her infernal Girl Scout cookies. He only liked the Thin Mints; oh sure, he had the occansional box of the Lemon Pastry Crèmes, but those were low-fat. She kept pestering him to buy her rotten cookies, but now she had gone too far. The piggie resolved to solve this once and for all: he picked up his Swedish-made PSG-90 and picked up the bi-pod. This little piggie was really not feeling too well; he decided to use the sabot case. The sabot case is a 4.81mm tungsten carbide round fired in a sabot case. This round exits the barrel at over 4400 fps (feet per second). He didn't care about the degradation of accuracy, he just wanted her dead.

He set up the bi-pod, set her in the Hendsolt 10x42mm sights and pulled the trigger...

Part 2 coming later. Because i'm lazy.

Nice? Shite? Average? Why? Send your opinions and questions to: ME.

This is what happens when you leave things alone. Have fun all. Night.

Oh no those are my eggs.

It was one of those days, where everything seems to spin around a little, in a joyous little twirl, but nothing quite gets done.

You come out of it sorta dazed, sorta confused, but otherwise happy. I want more of these days. It's pretty weird.

I bought eggs and cinnamon sugar today, and I was all like 'wow! Cinnamon sugar is pretty cheap!' Turns out to be 87 per cent sugar. Damn it.

Oh god, so many good things are happening soon, but i've just got to get through all the little pointless things that I more or less hate, but have to drudge through anyway. It'll be alright.

I'm really starting to pull into some deep intellectual-style stuff. I'm reading about how to write analytically, and learning about economics and stuff, and the books that i'm reading are enormously hilarious, in that abstract intellectual sort of way. It's pretty goddamn stupid.

And in other news, THE FED! is raising interest rates.

Min-taec is trying to get to my house using soccer as an excuse, NO MIN-TAEC! Atleast not yet. Actually, your greatest chance of getting to my house is probably this holidays. I dunno. We'll see.

Anyway, I have work to do and this is stopping me from doing aforementioned work. I have an eco assigment to finish, an english essay to do and business. Oh and I might study for Maths. *sigh* so many annoying little things. Take care and have fun all.

Nyau.

No I don't care about the title.

Just a perfect day,
Drink sangria in the park...

I'm glad that other people are having fun.

Theatre sports was a blast, even lesbian sex.

You're going to reap just what you sow...

Night night.

Woah and Stress.

Been stressed for the past few weeks, it looks like it's finally sorta calming down.

Tomorrow looks to be a relatively nice day, but that still doesn't solve much. Will resolve to have fun and relax tomorrow. This probably will fuck me over in my work somewhere though.

Can't think of anything to say, i'm sure there is though. Either way, good day all.

Well, that wasn't too bad.

I've had my past couple days of angsting, and it's more or less come to an end.

I haven't really solved anything, but i've found a solution...atleast sorta. It's not really a solution. and it's not anything new or different. Fuck.

I had one of those longish discouraging, yet heartening talk with Jared, which probably influenced my decision to skip school the next day. Don't really ask me why I skipped it, there were several factors running through my head when I did it, and it's a little hard to explain. I might explain later.

This eating business is getting out of hand. I mean, what do you mean THREE times a day?! yeah, sure, I'm also the King of England and have several iPods.

Balanced meal? Gum counts, don't it? I mean, it's sugar-free! C'mon! What more do you want?

I've decided to do like a million different things in order to distract myself, which sounds really bad and probably is, but it makes sense...sorta. In my head.

I've got a hella of a lot of stuff to get through, i'd best stop here and talk more later.

Be more prompt to go to a friend in adversity than in prosperity.

We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

Now, if you still have some time left over, you can source these quotes. Bye bye now.Physics...and Marshmallows!

I'm gonna pull you in close
I'm gonna wrap you up tight
I'm gonna play with the braids that you came here with tonight
I'm gonna hold your face, and toast the snow that fell
Cuz friends don't waste wine when there's words to sell

I really like that song.

Mmm, I love technology.

Don't worry too much about what that means. But Gmail is teh best.

Itsa been an interesting time. Unfortunately, i'm going to have to wait and see how things pan out.

*sigh* I hate waiting.

C'est la vie.

I can never think of a good title.

Had a bit of a rollercoaster day, turned out to be good though. I like it when that happens.

Should I bother doing a long post? nah, fuck it, later maybe.

I saw Zhenzi on train today! yayyyyyyyy!

that was cool.

Night all.

For those who have a little spare time,

Washingtonienne.

Now, I presume one, possibly two people know what or who Washingtonienne is, so i'll fill you in. She was a Staff Assistant , or "Staff Ass", as it's called in the business. She used to work in the White House (She was fired for this blog). The blog is account of her life on Capitol Hill and on how she has to sleep with men(some married, even) in order to make enough money to survive.

It's surpisingly well-written and humourous. She's witty, intelligent and quite self-deprecating for some one so interesting. It ain't too bad with the sex, not too risque, but nothing too plodding and pedestrian either.

Example post:

I got a raise today! Now I make $25K.

(Wasn't that what I was making before??)

Most of my living expenses are thankfully subsidized by a few generous older gentlemen. I'm sure I am not the only one who makes money on the side this way: how can anybody live on $25K/year??

If you investigated every Staff Ass on the Hill, I am sure you would find out some freaky shit. No way can anybody live on such a low salary. I am convinced that the Congressional offices are full of dealers and hos.

End Example post.

So go burn some time on this. Bye bye.

In Newsweek of all places.

The director of the new Harry Potter seems to be awesome.

Case in point: to inspire Radcliffe for a scene in which he had to appear awed, Cuaron told him, "Pretend you're seeing Cameron Diaz in a G-string." It worked.

Fucking-A!

Just a little piece of text that I read which cheered me up.

I have competition.

Today probably would have been my best day, but then we had to watch Dancer in the Dark...not saying that's a bad thing, but to say you had a good day after watching that movie is beyond fucked-up.

I'm breaking a rule aren't I? Meh, who cares, I do it all the time. Does anyone care?

I've seen it all...

Night.

Could have been the best day of my life,

But it didn't. That is not good.

Overall, had a very good day today, filled with RAMEN, people and then some more RAMEN.

The RAMEN was good.

I went late to people's houses, played some manly man games, and laughing uproariously at them. Goddamn they're hilarious. Rugby has never quite struck me quite so funny as it did today.

Nyau.

The reason I was late today was I had a fight with my parents, and it started getting a bit much. I was starting to cry, and I really didn't want to be in my house at that time, so I decided to go for a walk. I forced myself to not to cry and walked for about 45 mins to relax, and then decided to go to Jared's house, even though I was like 2 hours late. Meh, it was better than my house anyway.

And they were not Ginger Snaps. That was like chewy...stuff. I'm being real polite here.

RAMEN was awesome! God I ate so much. I can live off that alone for soooooo long now. RAMEN is good.

Umm, school is on tomorrow again, Get to watch Troy! mmmm Sexy Brad Pitt. Looks to be alrightyish. Hehe, meaningless word.

RAMEN!

Night.

Botzen is a shit hole.

Guess who said it?

There is never quite anything like retail binging when you have a crappy day.

Ate a whole pizza, then had a chocolate sundae...It was so great.

I feel like saying lots and talking, but meh. Tis a little late, there's a little too much to say, i'm tired and there's anime available.

Soup. Good. Yes.

Take care all. Night!

What the hell!?

Okay, i'm breaking a rule but screw that! I get on the Net and end up seeing the most random crap ever. And it makes me LAUGH. It's news time!

What?! Why not now? Breasts. That usually works to get your attention.

Helper monkeys!

OK this is shite. But I put it to show how they put a SIX-FUCKING -PAGE article about how R.Kelly's abuse of children is somehow more acceptable than Michael Jackson's. What planet do these people live on?!

This related to minties nickname so here it is. Most pirated film ever this year!

ALong the theme of long and crazy names for shows, Dr. Love's Super Baby Making Show!

Gay porn! Apparently they're rereleasing pre-80's flicks again.

"My new movies teach that we can keep people safe and have hot, nasty, good fun." Yep, good one.


You body is a wonderland! Does that mean it's closed down?! Bahahahahahahaha...ha.

Avril to go on Atkins! She says the 'angry'(angry? what?) lyrics on her album were due to TOO MANY CARBS. Avril, you just suck.

That's all the interesting pieces of news I've gathered so far, everything else is just my politicy/sciency stuff. Though I should add class to this and add a Hunter S. Thompson column.

Happy readings!

I love that game.

The M&M game that is. Played it?

Didn't do much, got to watch lotsa nice music videos, including two of Bjork and Two of Air! yayyyyyy! well, the initial point was to watch Radiohead Videos but I got that done too :P

Read more of those nice little short stories, almost finished one anthology of them, only two more anthologies to go! damn it I keep doing this to myself too often. Who cares.

I have so many things that I want to do that I LIKE, and yet I can't quite do all of them. Damn economics! and then there's the inevitable schoolwork.

Haven't quite been in a proper mood today, my mind and my actions don't quite match. It's like almost, but then no. nyeh, it don't matter.

Listened to lots of music and am actually starting to warm up to emo. It's nice in an emo way. Typically what you expect from emo as well. It's almost scary and very degrading. Nice, sorta, I guess.

Ok, this writing structure isn't really good and i'm being rather silly and all but gimme a break it's late at night. Not really. I like to think it is though =)

Skipping school is fun. I better not get used to it though. Bad habit. But then again...

Keep having certain recurring thoughts about myself and of other people, they're sorta hard to explain...I'm trying not to be judgmental about them and just let them be as thoughts but it's a little more complicated than that. One thinks that mayhap this is not quite the best time or place to discuss such things.

In the meantime, have fun, enjoy yourselves and be content knowing one person you know is having a good time.

That's me, by the way, if you didn't catch that :P

Anyway, C'est la vie and all that sort of stuff I say. Buh bye all.

History makes the future, even if the future is to forget the history.

DENIED!

Now that I have your attention, I'll get on with this.

The coolness around me is proliferating at an enormous rate, I can barely keep up with it. It's so mad. Experimented with some writing thing today, I still don't quite understand why teachers are all hung up over it. Goddamn people.

I wasn't going to post today, but there was weird (but good) stuff happening today, so I might as well. What's more appropriate here? :) or ^^?

But yeah, the quote is coolness, guess who said it :P

Just guess. About something. About anything.

Bye all.

Ah, twas another day,

and it was lazy, semi-fruitless and good.

Didn't do much at all, but was finally getting that feeling of being lazy and restful, but not feeling guilty and beating myself about it. It was nice.

Downloading the Ghost in the Shell movie, I don't care what anyone thinks, I wanna watch this thing. I might try and actually get into anime a little more seriously, who cares about schoolwork :P

I finally cleaned up my room, did some random cleaning and went shopping for food after realising I hadn't eaten all day.Atleast now I have plenty of low-cal soup! :D

Good things look are. Off to radiohead I listen. Bye all.

I think I just had the best day of my life.

I may have possibly just have had the best-fucking-day of my life, the utter coolness of it all is just sheer astoundment, wrapped in Morning Glory wrapping paper. It's kawaii beyond kawaii.

Slept badly tonight, only got couple of hours, with me waking up in the middle as well.

Day started pretty simply (Did not have pleasant morn, unfortunately). Had Anc history exam, for which I was pretty much entirely COLD (that seems to be my new buzz word). But thankfully the exam turned out to be surprisingly easy, even the extended response and assorted turned out to be nice and pie-like.

Then off to Jared's house for more funness, involving random antics of large words(placate!), unusual family members and of course, animals. Even though I was in a shitteh mood, and never actually did what I wanted to do, but was still being able to have FUN beyond imagining threw me off in a very delightful manner.

Then, on the way home, read the NICEST short story that I could have ever imagined on this day, wit, humour, and feel good. And feminism, don't forget the feminism.

Then back home, and just generally chatting with Inu and the brilliance of Bjork(YES!) spun me out. Raccons. Dreadlock dogs. *hyperventilates* SQUEAL!

Add to the fact that I have a free day tomorrow (YAY!) and with added promise of movie-watching and people. I think i'm going to start to play the blaspheming game.

Granted, I have to do work soon, and I have some things that I need to get off my chest, and a bunch of other stuff, and yet, this still wins. By several million miles.

I haven't done a post till this long cause i've been feeling so insanely hyper. My fucking fingers are trembling from the sheer fun of it all. Now I'm listening to Air and AMAZING.

All is full of love!

Mad song, and possibly the most perfect ending to Homogenic as well.

That little clay sculpture...is breathtaking. It's beautiful.It brings tears to my eyes. The purity, the utter simplicity and beauty of it...magic. It's about to close to perfection that i've ever seen.

Knees are hard.

I think it's the unexpected contrast thing that makes it so much better. It's like masochism, but not; it's better because you don't expect the accompanying relief. It's almost like karma; but with the strange ability to atleast minimally manipulate it to make stuff better.

Of course, there were some bad points today, but it's better if I leave them out. It's fun making memories. This place is like a memory workshop, tinkering with your days, changing, warping, distorting, and most of all remembering.

Gah. I'm out. My day didn't even have much happening in it, didn't have anything interesting, but man was it awesome. I don't care how crazy I sound, but FUN. I've said enough. Hope everyone has atleast one of these fun days in their life. Bye Bye. *waves*

And a la dee dah to you too.

Spent most of today lazing, sometimes delightfully, sometimes not.

I read a little, actually helped my parents (this better earn me points...sometimes I think my whole life is spent on points and point-related things) and meh.

I have an exam tomorrow that I am absolutely and completely unprepared for, a week that I am completely unaware of, an assessment due in this week, and a life I have no idea of how I got.

In other words it was a good day.

It doesn't scare me at all...

More reading is in order I believe. Night all.

Iesu Grist!

Lo and Behold! IC has updated!!!

Good god. I haven't even read the comic and i've posted it on my blog.

Tais Toi was good, Happy Birthday Jared.

I wanna go home...

But where is my home?

*sigh**hand gesture going into dramatic pose* Unresolved issues. Fuck them. Fuck them up their stupid asses.

You'll be hearing this a lot from me for the next couple of days.

Listening to emo for some reason, why the emoness!!! gah.

I require more flowers! Bye all.

Reading again.

I've started reading again. I always should have been, have no idea why I sorta stopped. Reading short stories as they fucking rock, probably best form of literary fiction there is.

Kurt Vonnegut. Wow.

Have another two exams to go, and then i'm done. Yay! sort of.

Wow. That was weird...It's been a odd day. Truly it has. Au revoir.

Mucho goodness, and lots of tear-wiping.

Had business studies in the morn. I hate business studies. Why the fack did I choose business studies!?

ARGH. I really hate business studies.

I'm done venting.

Lots of fun was had today, minties blogpost creeped me out. What the fuck was that?! It was sorta amusing, I guess, just CREEPED ME OUT.

I bought lip-balm! not just lip-balm, but Morning Glory lemon scented lip-balm! YES!

I love Morning Glory. Have to shop there again soon.

I have nothing else to write about. Nothing else at all. No siree. Nothing at all about buying or any other sort of purchasing for people. Nope.

Anywho, have fun everyone, and whore something or another. *wipes tear*

Joy!

No, nothing joyous happened. I just love that as a name. It's my second favourite name, after Valentine. I need more names. Especially guy names.

I don't even know why I even bother collecting names. I'm not planning to have kids, ever, so why bother. I'll just name other peoples kids :D

Actually, you could say something joyous happened today. I'm so happy for it...yet sad.

People, never let me into a shopping complex unattended now. EVER. I nearly went insane today. I haven't been shopping in a while...it's so alluring. It took a lot of willpower for me NOT to buy some sort of gimmick.

It'd go something like this:

"Hey, I really like this!"

A few minutes later,
"Wait, no I don't. I hate that! I've always hated that!"

Repeated over and over and over...

And speaking of clothes(Must not purchase...but it's there!), I just saw like the coolest thing involving t-shirts. Laundry Origami!

It's so cool...

Mmm toasteds with strawberry jam at weird times of the day...

Don't really have anything else to say, i'm spinning into a good mood, lots of energy, no real place to put it, just feeling good. I'm going to talk to myself for the next few days now.

Blogger has gone all cool on me, it's so...sexy? amazingly useful? utter brilliance? all those things, I think.

Nothing else, i'm going to try t-shirt thing, it's looks...foldy!

Take care people.

Stabbing motions are made, while delicately perfumed pens dance across the scarred landscape...

And that's the working title of my new film, Stabbers and their perfumed pens that dance with them.

As you can tell, I am bored. Not just bored. Hella bored. Think boredom so bad that you would strain your brain trying to think of the boredom. And then some.

But yeah, my day was wasted slothfully, mostly, with helping rents out and learning Go.

Does the game frustrate you as much as it frustrates me? Man, I lose against damn comps, by like a huge margin. *grumbles at amazingly simple, but astoundingly difficult to even get marginally good at game.*

I have a bajillion things that I want to do, but won't do cause i'm LAZY.

I require a project/hobby. A nice one. Any suggestions?

Oh right, exams are there too. Study or something. Later.

Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders.

Eternal Sunshine was utter brilliance, it was damn amazing.

There are so many damn things to analyse in this movie, it would make your mind explode.

I can't be bothered to analyse them.

Had fun today, it's always fun with people.

I think you're crazy, maybe...
I think you're crazy, maybe...

And hedonism works alright. It takes a lot of fine-tuning though.

Go listen to Air!

You're the Anti-Genre!

Nothing happened. Nothing.

Too many people turned up to the OPTIONAL afternoon class, when it says optional, it means OPTIONAL, not go otherwise Motherwell will guilt the crap out of you class.


And disregard yesterday's IC. This is a far better one.

I bought Xylitol, people broke my chopsticks and I nearly thought people were nice. For a whole second. Today showed me how wrong I was. mmmm, demoralisation...

Go listen to Radiohead!

Pancakes!

Pancakes I say!

Had a good day today, filled with pancakes and Fruits basket. Ah the random craziness...

Toired and I sorta feel like sleeping. Think I will.

Crap. Exams. Crap.

Have fun people.

This is a fucking brilliant strip.

You see, everything in life basically boils down the this question:

Is this going to be better or worse than Ramen?

Had a verrrrrryyyyy long day today, it even turned out to be a little enjoyable. I found out that I am under no circumstances ever to be allowed to cook, as Ramen took me 15 mins, AND I made a mess. It was still good though.

Gah. My brain has decided to go walkabout. I had so much to write about...No I didn't, what am I saying. Ah well.

And goddamn people and their self-referentials. Anymore of that shit and I will stab you with a sharpened pole made out of other sharpened poles. Referencing aforementioned sharpened poles. Got it?!

I need to torture myself way more often. It's so...refreshing? hideously dangerous? engaging? well, if nothing else, keeps my mind busy.

Yeah so if that didn't make sense, umm yeah too bad. I'll explain later or something.

It's getting colder now ain't it? Night all.

How's about a morning post to get you all up cheery and awake?

I'm feeling especially stupid this morning so here's a crappy link for you all. You gotta love the EU.

I especially like this part of the story:
"The new EU women are so sexy," wrote Bild in a headline over pictures of the nearly nude blondes, brunettes and red-haired women.

See people, this is why we need to live in Europe.

This may rank as one of the stupidest things I have ever done. Take note of this people. It may be important later. Bloody unlikely if I help it.

Have fun, and whore your Gmail!

Omg I just had to say this:

Nyau.

Sorry, it felt very much like a 'nyau' moment.

I didn't go to school today. Felt a little sick/I wanted a break, so decided not to go to school. Nothing productive was done, a little annoyed, but it doesn't really bother me. Did listen to lots of Unicorns though :)

Okay, this is like the funniest damn thing i've read in a while, and I need to fill out my blog so here's a link to the interview of The Unicorns. Funny moments include:

Eric: So, you guys play music too, right?

Jamie: Umm... we're trying to phase it out, actually.

Nothing really to say, I feel...weird. Like weird weird.

Yeah, so anyway, everybody have fun and all. Bye bye.

No no no no no no....but yes.

I've gone crazy happy.

Not good.

Had quite a good day today, nothing happened...Just a series of unfortunate events. I have to read that series. Lemony Snicket! *laughs at own idiocy*

Me, being the economist I am, have to bring myself down, or i'll bust in a big way. You know, booms and busts and all that shit...ah, what would you people know? *grumbles about all the people who don't know enough about economics and all that useless crap...cept crack and heroin!*

Nyau.

I'll use schoolwork to bring myself down or something. But yeah, it's all cool!

Ah!!! so much music bombarding me from all sides...Head imploding.

I had greek salad today! mmmm greek salad...

enough from me, go and listen to good music!

How could you?

How could you get me to listen to Black Eyed Peas?! HOW?!?!?

For example, They have this one song called Latin Girls (leaves a damn lot to the imagination, don't it?) and the song goes on for over 6 freaking minutes!!! What the hell!?!? I can barely stand 2...

You can only imagine what the rest of the album would be like.

School starts unpleasantly soon, I am screwed for it, but to use an oft-quoted word, meh.

And no, you don't sound too hollow. Maybe that's just the idealism speaking. How would I know?

Atleast I, Robot is being turned into a movie. But Will Smith as the star? Bleh, there had to be someone better for this.

Yeah, won't say anything more, bye all.

EDIT: Okay, I know that this is a bit too political of me, but this edited speech of Bush sounds very similar to Fitter Happier to me. Including the tone. Or is that just me?

I finally laughed today, and it wasn't even at Dave Barry

It's really not that funny.

Oh God yes. Google just offered me Gmail!!! How amazingly sweet. How the fuck did this all happen?

I was feeling all crappy today, deciding to lie in bed and all, then suddenly laugh at aforementioned news article, then suddenly found out that i'm in Gmail, then Inu is getting this, and what the hell!?!?

Feeling much better now. Thank you Google.

P.S. the new email is rishi.krishnan@gmail.com Disregard previous email and send all email here. Thank you.

Use fabric to block holes where the wind blows in.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.

I think you're crazy, maybe
I think you're crazy, maybe

How is it that people don't truly understand the significance of everything that happens? Everything that exists?

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.

It's cold outside.

Thom DOES dance like a wood elf.

A co-ordinated wood elf, too.

The concert was fucking amazing, the set list played wasn't too bad, twas a little short. Still far too fucking amazing. They sound checked for Let Down THREE times, and then decided not to play it...THREE! Why not just kill me now, bastards.

T-shirts were expensive as expected, but DAMN COOL, also as expected.

I can now start listening to Radiohead obsessively again, it's possibly the most fulfilling thing from this concert.

Had a blast, all of you should have one too. bYe bYe now.

Cause it's just another day, you will lose it anyway...

We would be together
Lovers forever
Care for each other

I LOVE Venus. It's one of those few truly romantic songs that actually move me. It's so...indescribably beautiful.

Air is just utter brilliance, in electronica form. God i'm so obsessed with it. And it feels so...perfect. Just perfect. I'm completely obsessed with it, but once I listen to it as an album once through, I don't need to listen to it again. It just feels so complete...This is one of those albums you HAVE to listen as an album though, I think.

This'll probably be a music heavy post, cause i'm feeling that way, and I can't be bothered to recount my day and all that. Ask me if you REALLY care.

Radiohead Concert! Oh god i've waited so long...It was so SCARY today. MTV, deciding to be smart for a change, puts on Fake Plastic Trees. WHY MUST YOU TEST ME SO GOD?!

so consequently, I had to go screaming from the room, AND miss the vid for Fake Plastic Trees. ARGH! *sigh* atleast the concert will be good.

It's late at night, i'm getting tired and I should go to sleep. Air ROCKS. Never forget that.

Lots more to say, can't be bothered to say it here, i'll tell you all personally or something. Bye everyone *waves*

Kill Bill.

How fucking awesome is this movie!? Ultimate movie ever. Exudes class in every frame. Drop everything people, and make this your priority in life. If you have to choose between sex and Kill Bill, choose this. Your hand is always there. Unless it gets chopped off in a horrible bloody fashion.

Only quibble I have with this movie: eating toasteds and strawberry jam during it.

Had a wonderful day today, I quite like this. Hope everybody has days like this.

Bob, you're cool. That's all I need to say.

Your random WTF news story of the day.

Anyway, it's late at night, and I need to sleep. Take care all.

Make up your own title.

Yes, I do feel like a bitch.

Day was good/bad, it's very tricky to say. I'm angry at myself for cheating, I should have been confronting issues rather than distracting myself. Too late now I guess. I need to talk to everyone, and I need more therapy.

I mean that. Unless someone can direct me to another therapist, Min-taec, one more session. I have a million things to talk about. I can't do it here, takes too long, and i'll always somehow leave out something crucial.

Coffee/tea was lovely, Brewhaha seems DAMN COOL, really surprised for that. The place is actually utterly brilliant. You missed a lot Min-taec.

And before I forget this, I think I finally realised why Bob is a champ. You fucking rock Bob. I can't emphasise that enough. I don't really care that this might make no sense or in general coherence, but Bob is fucking cool.

Dave Barry *gasp* being serious!

Though except for this bit.

Do you think you're getting funnier now that you're getting older, or do you think it's just funny that you're getting older?
I'M NOT GETTING OLDER.

Hilarity.

Therapy to do, people to speak to, changes to make. So many different things, so many different people, so many different possibilities, both unpleasant and deliriously happy.

*great big sigh of whatever*

Something a bit more relevant.

Now that i've contributed my share of making you all smarter and cultured and all that, i'll post what I would have normally posted.

I've been feeling increasingly spiritual over the past few weeks. I've started the whole deep questioning of beliefs agains, due to no small part of the fact that spirituality is started to be featured prominently in news again. Spirituality seems to be such an easy way out of things though. Think I've been away from psychology and science for too long.

The thing is, I believe that if you were to commit yourself to a spirituality, you have to do it whole-heartedly. I believe that being spiritual should actually affect the way you live, and would make a difference to your life.

I can never really commit myself, as natural psychology starts undercutting any beliefs I have. Though it is fun knowing like 5 different meditation techniques. Even if I don't use any of them :P

And Bjork is so cool! I love Hunter...It's so crazy fast and yet utterly brilliant. And no, I haven't listened to The Unicorns yet. I'm listening to all my music which I haven't listened to recently, so I don't end up with music I never listen to. And yet, I want to get more music.

And I think I've figured out more on the eating front. See, for most people, eating is a comforting experience. It's routine, simple and usually quite fulfilling. This is why that obesity is been linked to depression. People are stressed about something, consequently eat to comfort self, and this builds up. This also explains the existence of comfort foods.

That's how and why I have both eating problems AND comfort foods. At some point in my life, my mind decided that eating was an generally unpleasant experience, and so consequently eating doesn't actually comfort me; yet certain foods help me feel better. And min-taec, you evil fucker, you've got me addicted to toasteds and strawberry jam. I went insane yesterday, and refused to eat nothing but toasteds and strawberry jam.

What else is there to say. I need to talk to people, i've got school work which I have to START, and where the fuck are all the dreams coming from!? I might talk about that later.

From a sanity-deprived, semi-depressed and overly talkative person, bye.

I know i'm going to sued for this.

Considering how crappy i've been feeling all day, and with the whole emotional vulnerability thing showing, I found this, enormously FUNNY.

Here, reproduced below is one of Dave Barry's many amazingly funny columns. I could have sent the link, but the people at Miami Herald force you to register to read his stuff, so i'm putting this one up here as bait. I mean, introductory material. Dave Barry


Why can't they just lose the ring in the sink?

DAVE BARRY

I finally saw the new Lord of the Rings movie, which is entitled Lord of the Rings II: A LOT More Stuff Happens. It's a tad on the long side (three days) but I am not complaining. My eyeballs were literally riveted to the screen, by literal rivets, from the moment I sat down until the moment I lost all sensation in my lower body.

Yes, this is a classic movie, the kind that makes you laugh; makes you cry; makes you wonder, over and over, if this would be a good time to go to the bathroom. Above all, it's a movie that makes you think about the issues raised by the plot, the main issue being: What the heck IS the plot?

I say this because it's a very complicated story, with numerous subplots and something like 11,000 major characters, most of whom have hard-to-remember names like ''Flagodirt'' or ''Grempkin.'' So today, as a service to all of you who were confused by this great movie, I present the following:

SIMPLIFIED SCREENPLAY FOR LORD OF THE RINGS II

(Scene 1)

FRODO: Darn! I still have this darned ring that I got in the first movie!

SAMWISE: The ring with the terrible power that causes everyone who comes near it to over-act?

FRODO: Yes! And to destroy it, we must walk, slowly, in real time, all the way across New Zealand!

SAMWISE: But who will guide us?

FRODO: How about a reptilian computer-generated creature with a bad comb-over?

SAMWISE: Dick Cheney's in this movie?

GOLLUM: Very funny, Hobbitt-breath.

(Scene 2:)

LORD ARAGORN: Well, my two trusty companions -- Legolas, the Strangely Tall Elf; and Gimli, the Comic Relief Dwarf -- in our subplot, we are pursuing Merry and Pippin, who have been captured by Orcs, and now we find ourselves in the Kingdom of Rohan, ruled by King Theoden, whose niece, Eowyn, will become my second love interest once the king is released from the spell cast by his trusted counselor, Grima Wormtongue, who is secretly in league with the evil wizard Saruman!

LEGOLAS: I have no idea what you're talking about.

LORD ARAGORN: Me either. I'm just reading the script.

GIMLI: Well, I'm really short!

(Laughter)

LORD ARAGORN: But enough explanatory dialogue. It's time for one of the estimated 17 big sword-clanging battles we have in this movie with hideous computer-generated monsters who always outnumber us by the thousands, although we defeat them every time, because we are courageous heroes!

LEGOLAS: Also, they have the hand-to-hand-combat skills of alfalfa.

MONSTERS: Arrrrrr.

SWORDS: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

(Scene 3:)

MERRY: Well, Pippin, we escaped the Orcs, and now we are being carried around by talking trees!

PIPPIN: Apparently, the audience will swallow anything!

TREE: It gets worse! Later on, we engage in branch-to-hand combat! (Scene 4)

MONSTERS: Arrrrrr

SWORDS: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! (Scene 5)

FRODO: How come, if I'm the protagonist, Lord Aragorn has TWO love interests, and I'm stuck in a subplot with Dick Cheney?

GOLLUM: Maybe it's because your big hairy feet make you look like you're wearing a pair of dead weasels.

(Scene 6)

LORD ARAGORN: Well, Legolas and Gimli, with the help of Gandalf the White, formerly Gandalf the Grey, also known as Gandalf the Beige, we have defeated the Uruk-hai in a giant computer-generated battle. Now we must make haste to the Really Big Rock of Karambador, before the forces of Ba'Zoot, led by the evil King Weltpimple, conquer the Mullions of Gneep and obtain the Remote Control Unit of Doom!

LEGOLAS: Now you're just making stuff up.

LORD ARAGORN: Well, it's not as stupid as the kung-fu trees.

GIMLI: I'm still short!

(Laughter)

(Scene 7)

FRODO: UH-oh! The movie is over, and I still have this darned ring! Do you realize what that means?

SAMWISE: That ''Weasel Feet'' would be a good name for a rock band?

FRODO: Yes, as would ''Kung Fu Trees'' and ''Combat Alfalfa.'' But my point is that the forces of Evil have been let loose upon the land, which means soon there will be...

SAMWISE: No! Not that!

FRODO: Yes. Another sequel.

MONSTERS: Arrrrrr.

Had to post this.

I just heard this from Inu, two of you should know her, and the other I plan to tell/introduce, and had to post this:

'You're a violet crumble blonde. You're only blonde on the inside.'

Bahahaha.

And if you don't think it was funny, twas funny at the time, alright.

And with me trying to get rid of the whole repression thing, I'm actually being open with her. Not much, but it's a start. It's also starting to creep me out. A fucking lot. I'll explain this a bit more later.

Can't really say anything.

So I probably won't.

It's been a fucked-up day, though nothing happened. It looks like nothing is going to get better soon, though I'm not sure. Infinity sure is a big number...

Maybe it's just the lack of pills talking. Either way, bye.

A few things.

I'm going to need a therapist.

No, I mean it, I'm going to need a real therapist soon. Min-taec isn't there all the time, and i'm being completely unfair to him. Though...*sigh* upleasant decision I just had to make. I have to study psychology again. Good not.

I have a few things that I have to work out, or I won't like the effects of leaving them alone.

Why am I feeling so indifferent to death nowadays? it's weird. If I were to die right now, I wouldn't care. I really wouldn't care. I have this feeling that if someone or something were to kill me, I wouldn't bother resisting. Does this mean anything?

Anyway, it was a good day. Memento was good, sorta, you know what I mean. I...enjoyed myself today. That could probably be the best way to put it. I think.

Cats teach us that not everything in nature has to have a function.

A requiem for a dream.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
That call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they
Tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe

Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing
Through my open views inviting and inciting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a
Million suns, it calls me on and on
Across the universe

Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world....

Best fucking lines ever. Sorry for being such an angst whore, though by now, i'm sure that doesn't really mean anything.

I have absolutely no fucking idea on what to do. Fuck, I have to COMMIT to something, anything, god dammit.

Did you know you can get so tired that the muscles that control your eyes can be too weak to hold your eyes still, so the world seems to vibrating ever so gently...

Feeling a little too indecisive to talk right now, i'll try my best later. Night all.

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

Ah memories.

At best, you can have a love-hate relationship with them, as i've been finding out.

Watched DVD of Tropfest, I didn't feel too bad during the thing, almost happy. Haven't really been able to sleep all that well, but it's alright. Want to see what Jareds' new house looks like, it's always useful knowing a rich person.

Having a few too many arguments with family, it's really starting to bug me. Just something I guess.

Glee!

I feel all stupid now. Bye everyone.

That was ungood.

No, not revisiting Orwell.

Camp was not really good, i'm not really well.

Not going to say too much right now, as I've got these irrational masochistic/suicidal urges right now, and i'm going to either try and distract myself or just sit and try not to do something very stupid. I shouldn't really be at my house right now, as it's not really my ideal place when i'm like this, but I don't really have a choice.

Atleast I have minties Tropfest DVD to watch, and Grandaddy is coming to Australia, so that's something to look forward to.

A little tired, a little confused and a little sad. Hope everyone has fun in whatever. Bye.

Oh fine.

I'm up late at night, listening to good music (Interpol and Franz Ferdinand) and kinda sitting around not going to sleep.

I have packed, it didn't take as long as I thought, but it still took a while.

*sigh* sorry about such a bitch yesterday. I'm angry at myself for a few things, and i'm needlessly taking out at my anger on other people. Atleast I know I can sort of rely on some people.

The cynicism and sardonism has worn off, now i'm just depressed. I should go for comfort foods, but I only tend to do that when i'm feeling all cynical.

Hope you enjoyed whatever you've had so far. Bye.

In honour of something great.

blank

Oh god damn it.

Why does when I begin to have even a half-decent day, something comes along to screw it up?

Just lost it, and ended up arguing with my parents, i'm blowing off some steam here. Been a little too stressed for my liking for the past few days. It's suprising how optimistic some people can be these days. Myself included.

Bah. Just annoyed. Don't worry about it. Night.